Hi.

After awhile I was able to post an update on Morning Sickness. I was able to write. I was also dubious if the update is still coherent with what was happening.

The fact that I was able to write was a step for me to recovery. However, after writing that update, I was exhausted. My life is a mess right now. But, it is a mess that I had to hide so that people around me would not be crestfallen too.

I really don't know what to say. I feel like giving up writing altogether with my life but everytime I think about the people I will leave behind, it terrifies me. 

I don't know what I need. Rest? I don't know how to rest. Is it sitting or sleeping all day? Or something? Alone time? No. I can't have that time. Tell people I need a time off? They said life must go on. 

I am confused. I sleep. Hardly eat. My coworkers already told me that I lost weight. I hate what I see in the mirror and waking up becomes a task, no longer an inspiration.

I'd like to think that others had it worse and what I go through is incomparable but... Am I selfish to think that this is different.

I just wanna fall back to life.