Me.

I've been feeling this for how long. I don't think i can still take it. I'm tired lying o being happy everyday. Tired of those dirty stares given by my mother. I'm like in a family but I'm not part of them. I'm an outcast. My life is so unfair. My mother was always biased on my two older brothers. Well my father, sometines he cared i can feel it. But most times, no. Because he loves my mother more than I. I know that. I'm locked up into this house. I wanna get out. But I don't know where will i go. My second family my mothers older sister's family. I considered them as my second home. But now I don't feel like it anymore. My uncle told me i was his favorite niece. But what's happening? I'm feeling leftout anywhere i go. Sometimes I'm thinking to end my family's suffering because of me. I plan to kill myself. Maybe, just maybe. If i die i could see if they care. I they will cry even if I'm nk longer ib flesh. I just to experience how a mother cry because of her daughter. I also want to be special in her eyes. 

 

 

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Sorry I'm really sorry. I just want to burst out. Please don't bash me

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4riesone #1
Hey, I just wanna tell you that YOU ARE SPECIAL in your own way. I don't know how is your situation feels like, but I believe you are loved. People might sometimes showing their love in a weird way, or sometimes they are too absorbed in their own world that forgetting in their surrounding, maybe that's your case, or not. But please don't lose hope. Even if the life around your family is not good, there must be something positive out there where you can bloom into a beautiful flower. And once again, I'm telling you, you're special. So don't lose your hope. Please never forget that.
soara #2
Get help. You can quietly look for professional help and your family wont have to know about it.

Theres no "seeing my value when I'm gone" because youre not here anymore and cant enjoy that time then. Suicide is not the answer, youre the only one harmed and you wont even be here to get to live and see the good times that can come your way.

Be you own strengh and support, be the one who love yourself the most first and things will look brighter. Get some help so you can at least talk to someone and release the burden.

And if you dont feel like one doc is helping dont be scared of changing to other one until you find someone you feel you can share all thats inside you.

Please dont give up on yourself, your life is too precious. Things can get better.

Dm me if you feel like you want to talk anytime.
royaloyal1805 #3
Don't end your life like that. It maybe hard and keep going. In the future yourself that is settling in the dark can find a light. Stand up and put yourself together. If they don't care, so what? Others out there cared for you. Think to the people who cared and used that as inspiration to stand up. Someday, your family will care for you. Don't lose hope. :)
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