I'm really tired right now,

but I have some things on my mind.

I stay on this profile because it's a connection to the past. Especially after Jonghyun's passing I feel this need to cling onto my high school days in some way. I feel bad.. I feel down.

I'm listening to Elevator right now, and I feel the pain coming back. Jonghyun was one of the biggest influences in my life before I moved to LA to pursue my career.

And it's funny...

how somedays I wish that I could go back to the fantasy and illusion of entertainment industry I had growing up.

I had this hope of deliverence because I believed in a fairy tale.

But now I'm in the middle of the most beautiful nightmare.

And it's like a drug that you can't ever shake addiction from.

Like hotel california

"We are all just prisoners here of our own device"