I was on a writing spree yesterday and kept writing stuff so I guess I just feel like sharing 

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I'm grateful that I get to live this life
But ashamed that sometimes giving in 
Seems more appealing to me
To stop breathing, to stop being 

Wouldn't dream of doing anything reckless
But I can't ignore this emptiness
It brings me down like an anchor
Dragging me to a place so bottomless 
A pit of misery

I'm drowning, my lungs are full
I am only a selfish fool
Life's a joke that is way too cruel 

I hate it, hate everything 
This anxiety, this agonizing
Patronizing 
Paralyzing 
Feeling of being who I am

Help me
Help me breathe again

Wait, who am I talking to?
Can you hear me?
Can you see me?
Can you feel me?
Can you even do anything
If I'm not really happy?

Do you care even a little?
Do you really not mind?
How often do you find
Someone who wants to save you?

Don't you find it weird 
That I'm begging to be saved
By someone who isn't real?

Hey, can you rescue me?
Hello? Hey? Are you listening?
Hey! Can you help me?
Or maybe I'm actually the one
Who doesn't exist

What if I'm the anchor?
I don't think there's a true answer
Or maybe it's just an excuse 
Because although the truth is well known
To everybody and myself 
I just want someone to accuse

For my loneliness
For my pain 
For my struggles
For my anxiety
For this inner oppression
That's driving me insane

Maybe then it could be healed
Because if there's no one else
If it's my brain killing me slowly
Then even I can't help myself

Unless I truly stop existing