Hey guys, it’s been a long time since I’ve posted a blog

Uhm, I just wanna touch up on everything that went on last month and input my thoughts and feelings

So a lot of you know, that Jonghyun from SHINee committed suicide on December 18.

First of all, I wanna say that he committed suicide the day before my birthday. And I wanna say that it was probably the worst thing to happen. 

Like how can I still be alive to celebrate the day of my birth while just the day before we lost a precious angel?

Honestly, I was upset. However, I did carry on to celebrate my birthday because it would have been better for me to be happy for at least a full day before going back to mourning the loss of someone so influential.

SHINee was the group that got me into kpop. Now, I havent listened to them in such a long time, but the fact that someone from that group passed away really hit me hard.

I did end up crying on my birthday, because gosh Jonghyun literally comitted suicide and it really ing hurt.

He was suffering, and none of us knew a damn thing about it.

He truly deserved a world full of happiness, but unfortunately when you live with depression, it’s the hardest thing to ever get.

I personally have depression. I’ve struggled with it for quite a while and honestly it . 

And it that I am able to relate to many things that Jonghyun must have felt throughout the majority of his life.

I recall a certain point in my life where I attempted suicide a lot. The pain and suffering was too much and I just wanted an out. 

And that’s exactly what Jonghyun did and got. He just wanted an out from all the sadness and endless loop of emptiness.

It’s ing terrible, but gosh I understand how that feels. I understand it so well and it’s the most terrible thing to ever feel.

I’ve done a lot better with not crying whenever I even see Jonghyun’s name, but sometimes it just hits me and I let loose.

Jonghyun truly deserved the best. 

He did so well. And I just hope he knows that we’re all rooting for him

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DEPRESSION IS NO JOKE. MENTAL HEALTH IS NO JOKE. 

Your mental health is important. It is top priority over all. 

MENTAL HEALTH IS YOUR TOP PRIORITY. ALWAYS.

Never let anyone else or any other stupid expectation tell you otherwise. Your overall health matters so much more than everything else.

If you ever feel like venting, find someone who you trust and let it all out. It’s good to properly release negative emotions, no matter how dumb the reason may seem to you.

Hell, if you want, you can message. I may not be the best at giving advice for specific situations, but if you just want someone to listen, then I’ll gladly be here if you want.

Remember that you always matter. You are so important and many people love you.

I love you all, okay?

Stay safe and stay healthy. 

♥️