Hye guys. I'm so sorry i've been gone for a long time. And I know some of you guys are waiting for my fanfics, i mean, if there are any of you waiting.. I haven't been doing anything, no updates on my drafts, no new ones. I know i'm just making excuses. But, my depression is just going crazy. And i'm feeling so ing hopeless day after day. I've attempted suicide again, I cut my veins, I cut deeper. I've tried drowning. I've tried choking myself. I just wanted to die. You should know about what happened to Jonghyun, bless his soul, I miss him so much. And what happened to him, it kinda triggers something inside me, wanting me to follow him and just die coz nobody gives a about me. I'm trying. Lately, i'm feeling kinda better, I haven't cut maybe in a week or more. But I'm still suicidal and i'll be going into therapy soon. It's just, there are good days, great days, worse days, horrible days and terrible ones. I'm forcing myself to be happy and do the things I used to love. I'm re-creating a new me. A better version of myself. It's gonna take some time but I really wanna win this fight. I don't wanna die eventho the voices in my head tells me to ing end it once and for all every ing second. There's a lot of people missing Jonghyun and i'm sorry if this sounds terrible but it made me realise that, maybe people will miss me too if i commit suicide. And i'm trying not to. Anyways, that's not the point and this is not a pity party or anything. 

I just wanna say that, idk when i'm gonna continue writing and posting but i've got a few ideas and kinks in my head. But, I really hope i'll be writing soon and from there, i guess everything will come naturally. I dont know what else to say and yeah.

Thank you so much for reading, supporting, upvoting and subscribing to my fanfics. It means so much to me, it does.

I'll be back soon ❤