moving to..Spain?

So next week im probably moving to Spain(?) and my anxiety is getting to a point where I just want to finish this asap or nah... It's not that i don't want to go because i really want to experience a new lifestyle and spend time with my mother's family. Visit new places. Learn new stuff. IDK make friends(?) like real ones(?) lol i think i need friends yup definitely... but recently i had a small chat with my aunt and she told me that people was not going to receive me with the best of them as soon as they hear my accent???? Or where I come from... i was like "WHY??!!" *Turn down for what?* then she told me that i should start changing the way I pronounce some words and then i was like "ok what if i sound fake?? And i offend them? Or they laugh because they gonna think i want to be something I'm not??? Really?" Anxiety I mean all the people i had met so far from other countries that had a strong accent i have never felt like rejecting them for the way they speak? Or pronounce some words?? Isn't it rude to tell some people to change the way they speak because they still have that accent from their mother land??? then I was staring at the wall thinking what to do. What to say or not. Am I really going to make friends this time? Are they gonna feel okay to speak with me if they hear the real me? the reason why I have been hiding my whole life is because I can't tolerate rejection. I mean even when I'm talking with my own family I always try to find out what they're thinking about me, what they feel like when sharing something with me. I ALWAYS TRY TO READ PEOPLE'S MINDS only because I don't wanna be inconsiderate(?) to not do something that could make them feel uncomfortable. damn it I was exited I was even HAPPY now I feel anxious unsecured(?) i wish I hadn't talked to her and heard those words. I wish I weren't so sensitive to people's words and actions....
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lalophobia #1
tbh if i were u i wouldn't change my accent. if they don't like who u are or where u came from that's their issue, not urs. they aren't worth ur time. you'll find ppl who like you and don't care abt the other bs. those are the ppl u want as friends. if it takes a while to find those ppl and u feel discouraged talk to someone abt it, either irl or here on aff, just don't change things abt u to try to make ppl like u or fit in. ur aunt is just trying to look out for u, but eventually ppl are going to learn abt u and that could cause issues down the line if it's such a big deal as ur aunt makes it out to be. it's a new place and it's a new year and wouldn't it be nice to be urself and be a new u, the u that u wanna be.
but that's just how i feel, it's so much harder to be in the situation, so do what u think is best.
zanfii #2
Okay.
So listen. In your precious blog you mentioned that the situation in your country is bad. And I'm so glad you get to move out. Really grateful. I hope your lifestyle improves.
And honestly, if there's someone who can't accept you because of something so trivial as an accent, you don't really want to be their friend. It's ok. Take it slow. Change needs time. Let yourself settle into the country first. Take all the time you need. You don't have to accomplish everything in the world as soon as you move out. Take things one by one, and focus on living healthily.
I wish you the best of luck.
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