I hate this feeling
the feeling of wanted to end it
but knowing it will cause more pain isn't what I want even if my pain ends
I keep telling myself
"you're fine. you will be fine. this will pass. it could be worse."
it's self hate I fear the most
why are these thoughts here now
have I just kept too much in?
slowly letting stuff out little by little
that helps right?
I can only talk myself out of it for so long until I remember her
I can't leave her I have to protect her

consistent useless battle in my head going on for awhile now.

2018
gonna try be happy and self love