Dear Jonghyun, 

 I have known SHINee for years. I've always love you guys. Mind you, me am a SHAWOL too.  4 days ago, its almost 10pm. I was bout to log into facebook until I notice a news with your name. At first I ignored it but Then I got curious and took a look at it. It reads vocalist of SHINee was found dead. I thought it was a joke. Unfortunately it was no joke. I was shaking. For the first 2 days when you're gone I really want to hate you for being so ing inconsiderate and irresponsible for leaving us, your family members, your friends and team mates. Every second and every minute for the first 2 days, I was constantly blaming the peoples around you. I'm sure they knew About your condition but They did not pay more attention to you and to it. It didn't feel real. Till today, the 4th day that you're gone, it still didn't feel real. When I see you in pictures or videos, my heart clench tightly. You look so alive so vibrant so Lively in it. Now, I'm already understand the reason you choose to leave us. I know it's because you're suffering. You're insecure. You have no one that could understand your condition. I want to say thank you, for creating so Many amazing songs. I want to apologize for not being able to meet you, for not realizing you're suffering and for not able to let you know that you're actually is a very bright and nice person . I want to say I love you, you're love by us, but Guess it's too late to let you know now isnt it ? I want to say I miss you, isn't it funny that when only you're gone that I said I miss you ? I want to say I'll remember you for as long as I live, you're an amazing brother, an amazing idol, an amazing friend, an amazing son, an amazing hyung and oppa and an amazing team mates SHINee could ever ask for. Its only yesterday that only I finally accept the fact that you're gone. Only did I cried so Hard. And I still cry today. You know Christmas and new year is around the corner but now we don't have you to celebrate with us anymore. I will always remember, miss and love you dearly. You're a beautiful angel. I really hope you're doing good up there. You don't need to worry about us, we'll be okay. Just give us time so that in the near future we'll be able to talk and smile when it comes to talking stuffs related to you. Our dearest SHINee vocalist Jonghyunnie, you've done well in everything. Go well, rest in peace. You won't be forgotten. Xoxo.