I'd only found out about Shinee's Jonghyun around 30 minutes ago. My head can't process what my heart can't accept. To have to understand that we'll never hear that voice speak. Those musical notes belted out. That incredible smile that breaks out into that insane laughter. Don't get me started on his facial expressions. This young man will always be a king and legend in my book!

Depression, anxiety and suicide are very real problems in our world. I suffer from it and so do my kids(yeah, yeah older fan, lol). Within these last 3 years alone, I've had to face it head on. My oldest whose just gotten his first job has tried to commit suicide twice. It's what's led to his sister's and my own anxiety and depression. I can only imagine the kind of pressure Jonghyun was in or simply felt. Due to the industry he was in. We all rail against the Kpop machine. But it's a love hate relationship. In this last year alone we all watched certain groups soar. Some groups fall. Groups who've debuted with better known ones finally being given the limelight. We rail about the awards shows. Honestly! If you put all of the different acts together. You'd need a much bigger venue! The insane mix/match/produce debut competitions. Which, we've all watched! Taemin is a panelist on one, yeah? To watch the Nuest members go through that. On top of debut hopefuls. iKon and Winner are other examples. TVXQ, SJ, 2ne1, GG, History, EXO, Highlight, Fx. Now, yes, I started with SM groups. But have gone on to other labels. Labels being sued, members leaving. The problems are still there. Bom getting blasted for depression meds that aren't okay in her country. If TOP ended up passing away. Would there be more sympathy and understanding!?!  While we don't think about those things. It does happen daily in these peoples lives. You don't think SJ or BB are worried about being older, going through hiatus for military service or scandals?

Kpop is what makes me smile. I love watching different groups. And I know and appreciate how much has been put into each and every performance. And  catching Kim Jonghyun's outlandish reaction at MAMA watching EXO spoof Twilight, is what turned me into a Jonghyun Stan. His radio shows, his reactions on Weekly Idol and other variety shows. His sincerity to his family and fans. His work ethic. He was absolutely brilliant!! 

So with a heavy heart(and elevated blood pressure,Smh), I will reluctantly let him go. 

And yes, Jonghyun, you did well!