I'm done! I can't stand this anymore. It's true that I am a lonely person but I need people around me too. I need someone to understand me! I need someone that wouldn't judge me, nor talk about me behind my back. Even my closest friend seem distant to me, the only person that would actually listen to me is living in Italy while I'm stuck in this hell of a country and the worst thing is that I'm being judged by people that don't even know me. I don't know if there is going to be a person that would read this. I don't even hope for a person that would understand how I feel. My friends don't see my inside. They are too busy rubbing in my face they're perfect lives and how great they're other friends are. They are too busy complaining that our friendship isn't like her's with some other girl I barely know. They talk so much about they're lives and who knows who's else that they don't have time to listen to me, yet they tell me I tell them to little about me. Funny, huh?

I was sick, my head hurt, so I put my head down on the desk and without me knowing, I was about to fall asleep. It was the perfect, peaceful moment that I love so damn much! But, of course, it had to be ruined, right? Some stupid classmate of mine 'accidentally' knocked my head on the desk and as a result for his stupidity, my nose was bruised. Even if it have been around 5 days, I still have a blueish nose. It hurt so much that I barely succeeded not to scream out of pain. But how would the others know that? They put they're caring masks on as soon as they saw me crying. How foolish would it have been of me to believe them! I'm grateful that after almost 4 years of observing them, I got to know how to read through they're masks. They think of me as of a little, careless girl that doesn't give a about school and that's why I miss a lot of school days. But I'm not like this and even if I was sometime, I'd like to tell them I changed. I'm a grown up lady that doesn't believe in fairy tales anymore. They are to beautiful to be real and people around have taught me that life is anything but beautiful.

I went to the infirmary from were I was sent home. But I made the mistake to wait for my mother to pick me up in my class. I waited for our homeroom teacher to come so that I could tell her what happened. Along with her, my classmates began making fun of me, telling me to cut the act. But I wasn't acting. My nose really hurt, along with my head and thanks to pain I barely could stand on my legs. Why couldn't they see that I was in pain? Why are they not seeing it every time? Do they enjoy making me suffer? Do they enjoy breaking my heart? I cried until I got home and then I cried myself to sleep. I even cry now, while I'm asking myself those questions.

And why is everyone so mean with me? Why do people pretend to be my friends when all they want is to find out something about me so they could gossip about me later? Being mean satisfies you that much?

I'm not expecting someone to answer this... I just wanted to let my feeling out. Because I can't stand it anymore...