Hellooo~ It's been a long time huh. This asianfanfics are going silent. lol. pardon for my broken english hahahaha. okie.. nah, can i share something? i mean like, it's been a long time since i wrote a post, and this one is .. just gonna be my confession. my feelings. 

okay. the story is like this.. ermm.. i play this game, habbo. a virtual game. yeah. actually since i was in primary school , bout 8-9 yrs ago? lol. and i rarely play that actually because that time, i was still a kid, and dont know how, and don't have friends. so i just open my acc for fun. and then, last year, i was having my exam. in Malaysia, it called PT3.. for form 3, 15years old children. after my exam, we're free. yeah. and there's one week, where we dont have any programs at all. so i told my mom that i want to skip school. and so i did. and idk why i open habbo again.. 

there.. i met some people . one of it was sky. nah, his username only. his real name is adam. okie. let's call him adam. since they were my first friend(s) at habbo, so i felt like. uh oh. this is how you feel when you got friend here. i also met lucy and saladass. we were close enough hehe. since the three of us were new there. and the next day, saladass ask me to couple with him, andddd so i refuse . because i thought bout adam that time. really idk why. then saladass just accept  the fact.. and we stay being friends. we rarely open habbo that time since it's still school mode. lol. and then, this one day. adam, lucy and i on together and i felt like lol. felt like falling in love HAHAHAHAH. ermm.. that time adam like to jokes around with me.. oh,i'm a girl tho. i have feelings lah. and so i did like him. my heart triggered everytime i saw him online, i felt like. omg. hahahah. even, there's once, when a boy asked me to couple with him, and i refused, saying that i waited for someone. and when i was about to forget adam, he came back. i said to myself, if by the time my exam's result was out, and adam won't online, then i will just forget him. but the day before , he on. he did.

and we just ... rarely chat . i dont have any of his contact, except for habbo. since he wont tell me. then this one day, when someone came to me, and asked me, "oh, you knew adam?" and i said, yes. why? so she said. oh, i'm adam's friend, he invited me to play this game and told me to find you. and i be like.. oh hiiii.. and not long after that , adam on.. and we just have a bit chit chat. lol.  bout 3hrs if i'm not mistaken. but actually i'm just a viewer. adam and his friend were chatting as if there's no me. and i felt like. oh does she like him? omg. hahahaha. i tried tho to be friend with her, but ... she looks cold towards me lol. idk and idc. 

and whattttttttttttt.  on May, i went for a trip to langkawi, so i told adam that i want to send him keychains, for him and that girl. i asked for his address, but he wont give it. so he told his friend to give it to me. i be like. okie. i send a letter for him, since my friend told me to move on because adam may be playing around, so i said it in the letter. and thennnn.. justtttttt ermm,.. last week . i asked his friend, then she said what. "oh. why dont you tell me that you alr posted it? wait, i asked mama" and me be like. oh , that's herrrrrrrr adress. i'm soooo ashamed. HAHAHAH. . and i think that she also read the letter that i gave to adam. why? because she posted on status whatsapp about feelings, if i'm not mistaken. i told her , tu just throw it away, but she said that she need to give it to adam. lol. 

and yesterday. when i was about to off habbo. adam came. he told me bout the letter. and so i be like, oh okay. i alr forget bout it actually. and i also dont remember the content of my letter. then he said like this, "i know the meaning of the korean words that you wrote. i asked my friends bout it. the meaning is, i like you very much, dont you know? oh , you like me? are you serious?" WHEKHQWRHQKEF dont you know what i felt that time. i felt like i wanna cry because, all of this time, it's only a one sided feelings.. hahahaha. all of his sweet talking, it's just for fun..and it's just me that's too blind to see that. and then his friend came, that girl. i told adam to study, then he said, "oh okayy." and off without even saying anything or even telling me goodbye. felt like my heart were broken into pieces. i be like.. oh okay. it's okay. i'm used to it. what's the point of him telling me that, if he's adam, so i need to be his eve, if he didn't mean it? what's the point of giving me hope if in the first place he's just doing that for fun? does he want to make fun of me? lol.. 

and yeahh.. i gathered my courage. i told him my feelings. nah, not everything. not bout that dissapointment in myself for trusting him or what. i told him. i did like him. but it's did. in the past. before his friend came. and now? idk. everytime i want to move on, try to like someone else, adam's name suddenly popped in my mine. i felt like wanna cry right now but idk why, i cant. oh gosh. thought bout just closing my heart to anyone, i'm tired of being given fakehope. i'm tired of all of this. i'm tired of controlling my heart, not to beat so fast when adam is online. i dont want to waste my tears anymore for people who cant appreciate me. 

i'm sorry for telling all of this. i just think that this si the safest place for me to release the burden in my chest. thanks for those who keep reading until the last character. i do really appreciate it. i just having the desire to story mory with someone.  :)