Hey.

Honestly, I have no idea how blogs work, not being one who reads a lot of them. Not that it really matters - I’ll be making blog posts from time to time starting now for myself more than anything. I don’t think many (or any, for that matter) people will be reading this but if you are, aye don’t expect much.

I haven’t had the time to write lately, as seen from my lack of updates and I probably won’t be getting to it anytime soon. I’m really sorry for anyone looking forward to my future works but I’ve been a little lost lately and I think finding myself to put out through my writing will be much better than forcing out whatever crap I have in me at the moment.

Just an update so no one will be lost halfway reading through this blog post (if that’s whatever this is), I just started college in May. I’m 18 and taking Foundation in Science leading to Food Science.

Anyway, the transition from high school to college has been tiring, to say the least. I’m not one who socialises very well with new people but once I’m genuinely comfortable with someone, I’ll never shut up. So of course this new life surrounded by new people and experiences has been a little overwhelming. I didn’t know anyone in my college, all of my close friends from high school moved out of state and I’ve been trying so hard to get out there since the start of May.

Honestly, I’m a huge idealist and I expected college life to be fun and free and all those cheesy things you hear about from your seniors and I think I just set myself up for disappointment. With friends, yes, college life must be really fun but when you’re constantly alone - going to class alone, eating alone, studying alone, going out alone - you get a lot of time to yourself to think and thinking too much just increases the already rising tension I have (?).

I’ve tried to make friends, trust me but I feel like I don’t click very well with a lot of people and the few people who I do get along with, I feel like I annoy them a little too much because I can get clingy once I like you and just thinking about that, I somehow managed to distance myself from everyone. I have friends, yes. Just the normal friends you greet when you see them around but not the type of friends you would randomly invite out to lunch with and that really .

I’ve been keeping in touch with my close friends from school and most - emphasis on most - of them have been having the time of their lives in college and I’m just ??? hOW?

I must sound so whiny to anyone reading this (if anyone even made it this far) but I just haven’t had anyone close to spill all my feelings to and this post must be so messy and confusing because doing it through text is just not satisfying and liberating enough. But with my circumstances and lack of friends, this is probably the only way I can do this.

What am I even saying anymore-

Anyway, I have a lot to say but putting them altogether in one post would take every ing ounce of my emotions and I’m not up for that right now so I’ll stop here for today.

Expect more crappy posts like this (though you probably won’t even look forward to this hAH) in the future if anyone is interested.

See you guys.