AWAKENING

A time comes in your life when you finally get it. When in the midst

of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and

somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!

Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a

child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to

subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and

through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through

new eyes.

This is your awakening. You realize that it's time to stop hoping

and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and

security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms

with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not

Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale

endings (or beginnings for that matter). and that any guarantee

of "happily ever after" must begin with you, and in the process a

sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect, and that not

everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you

are and its OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.)

And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself, and

in the process a sense of newly found confidence is born of self-

approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did

to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you

can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that not everyone

will always be there for you, and that it's not always about you. So,

you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in

the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers, and you begin to accept people

as they are, and to over look their shortcomings and human frailties

and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of

forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world

around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have

been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all

the crap you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should

look, how much you shouldn't weigh, what you should wear, where you

should shop, what you should drive, how and where you should live,

what you should do for a living, who you should sleep with, who you

should marry, what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of

having and raising children, or what you owe your parents.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And

you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really

stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing, and

you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or

should never have bought into to begin with, and in the process you

learn to go with your instincts. You learn to distinguish between

guilt and responsibility, and the importance of setting boundaries

and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the

one you choose to carry, and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to

love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk

away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a

relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more

intelligent, more lovable, or important because of the man or woman

on your arm or the child that bears your name.

You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you

would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations,

and outcomes. You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is

with love. and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love

on your terms. Just to make you happy. And, you learn that 'alone'

does not mean lonely.

And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you

will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete

with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack

up." You also stop working so hard at putting feelings aside,

smoothing things over, and ignoring your needs.

You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK. . . and that

it is your right to want things that you want. and that sometimes it

is necessary to make demands. You come to the realization that you

deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity, and respect,

and you will not settle for less. And you allow only the hands of a

lover who cherishes you, to glorify you with his or her touch. and in

the process you internalize the meaning of self-respect.

And you learn that your body really is your temple. You begin eating

a balanced diet, drinking more water, and taking more time to

exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create

doubt and fear, so you take more time to rest. And, just as food

fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul, so you take more time to

laugh and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, in life you get what you believe

you deserve. and that much of life is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You

learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for, and that

wishing for something to happen is different from working toward

making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to

achieve success, you need direction, discipline, and perseverance.

You also learn that no one can do it all alone and its OK to risk

asking for help. You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is

the great robber baron of all time: FEAR itself. You learn to step

right into and through your fears, because you know that whatever

happens you can handle it, and to give in to fear is to give away the

right to live life on your terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under

a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you

don't always get what you think you deserve, and that sometimes bad

things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you

learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing

you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening. And

you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego.

You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy, and resentment

must be understood and redirected, or they will suffocate the life

out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of

walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the

simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people

upon the earth can only dream about a full refrigerator, clean

running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin

to take responsibility for yourself. by yourself, and you try to

make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever

settle for less than your heart's desire. And you hang a wind chime

outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a

point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every

wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with your higher power by

your side, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to

design the life you want to live as best as you can.

ANON

A/N At 23 years old I was given this poem by a dear friend at the beginning of my career.  At 40 I finally feel like I had my awakening.  I dont know why I just felt like sharing this today.