Hi. Wow. It's been awhile

This is just me rambling. Totally fine if nobody reads this. Just thought this is a great place to speak my thoughts.

This is totally random, but do you ever go out with friends for the whole day and just go MIA for the next 3 days? 

What do you mean by MIA? Like going missing off the face of the planet? Like 29 unread texts and 7 missed calls, kinda missing? 

Yeah. That kind. Well, not really missing, missing. You're still in your flat, doing everything and nothing. The only difference is you don't talk to any of your friends whom you partied with the whole day yesterday. You also don't login to any of your social media account, afraid that people might talk to you. (That sounded like I have a problem. Huh.)

Does that sound weird? Am I the only one that goes missing after me and my friends get faced? (I don't party THAT hard, you can't even consider it a party when you're just eating ice cream and doing karaoke. My life isn't THAT exciting, fortunately.)

It's not like I did anything embarrassing while we were out.  (I'd like to think I bring the least shame and embarassment to the group, tyvm). It's not like we accidentally discovered a drug syndicate doing business at a dark, narrow alleyway and are trying to keep a low profile so they won't find us and try to fit us in a 3kg cardboard box. Wow. That went 0 to a 100 real quick. (Like I said, my life ain't THAT exciting). 

​​​​​​​So what's the big deal? Where are you going with this blog? It's kinda getting boring. So what if you go and stop talking to people for less than a week after you hang out with them? It does sound a bit weird and antisocial, but I bet you aren't the only one who does that.

​​​​​​​(I can't believe I'm talking to myself and letting people witness omfg. I need a life.)

​​​​​​​okay. To cut it short, I get super tired after social gatherings. I'm not antisocial. I like talking to people. I like hanging out with my friends. I like going outside. But I get tired pretty easily (physically? mentally? emotionally?) and I just curl up for the next few days to recharge myself. I need time to myself. I need to be left alone with my thoughts and feelings. Like, talking to another individual made my screws loose and I need time to work out the kinks.

Another thing, probably unrelated though.

I also don't like inviting people to my house. Not that I don't appreciate the company, but I just don't have the energy to entertain people in my personal space where I'm used to just lounging around and doing nothing. It takes energy out of me to interact with people. It mentally and emotionally exhausts me. This issue has come up multiple times and I can't explain to my friends the whys. Even I don't know.

That's why it has gotten me thinking.. Do I have a problem? Am I actually not enjoying people's company that's why I get totally spent and need time to readjust myself? Am I not comfortable enough in my best friends' company that it negatively affects me? Am I destined for a life of few close friends and one or two empty containers of ice cream? Or am I totally normal and it's just my personality? (Probably the latter.) 

ps. I'm probably being dramatic. But this is an honest to goodness post with my unadulterated thoughts.

pps. I just realized this would be a great place to write my ideas for fanfics that I never really intend to create.

Hep. 🐏

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