21 a full grown adult in society. old enough to buy beer but why do i still feel like i'm 17 when i get my heart broken? Love knows no age when it comes to destroy you. Maybe it's because i've never been in a proper relationsip that break ups still effect me harshly. I want to give love and to be loved. I've not yet kissed or gotten to hold a girl's hand that wasn't a friend or a family member. She was supposed to be it, she was supposed to be different and yet she only took a short time to break me.

communication is key, so many people have left me and with you leaving for weeks with no word it hurt me. You tell me life is hard and I want to be there but you say it's not the same because i live far away from you. I still want to be there but you brush me off, you get angry at me and maybe it's not about me but you put your anger on me. I don't want to be a punching bag anymore. I try to be the friend because how can i let you go when it was only a short time that i've known you and you've gotten my heart. 

i try, and i try to say that i'm okay with just friends but i'm not because talking to you makes me feel ill a illness that hits me deep in my heart and how it tells me that i need to get away from you. that i can't trust you anymore that you're just going to find someone else and you probably will and i can't see that. I don't want to see it. My little sister even says that you left me because i tell her that you aren't with me anymore. even if she says your name it hurts and it makes me remember how badly i wanted us to work. 

you were supposed to be it. I was supposed to be smart. 21 years old but i can still act like i'm 15 when it comes to love.

I need to get over you, but i'm not sure if i can. Not when you made me trust you fully and it was all thrown in my face. 

Love can itself for all i care.