I'm not too sure about what I feel about writing.

I'm always in this constant dilemma between two choices.

One, to write something based on your own experience, which offers to make your stories unique and also shares your own experience with others. It makes the story feels real when people read about it. It definitely uses your own creativity because of your own memories and what you've obviously gone through. But the downside is that your own experience are only that limited.

Two, to write something from scratch. To craft a story, I can't help but feel that I lack creativity when I write. It all feels so...cliche. It feels like I replayed it over and over in my mind again and again. It feels weird, it doesn't feels real. I know fanfics aren't supposed to be real thats why theres all that AU stuff. Not that I don't like writing my crafted fanfics (Run with love for example.) It feels like i'm constantly plagarizing someone works that I havent even read because you know because a similar idea might appear in some people's mind. 

Another thing is the transition.

I guess I find it weird to transition from writing first person perspective to a third person perspective. I feel like my readers can also understand my point of view better when I write it in first person view. Definitely I feel theres alot of stuff lacking from the writer (myself) when I write but it does feel good when I make my characters do what I want, y'know have a specific ending instead of my pathetic real life. (LOL).

But I find myself sometimees stuck because my imagination is holding me back and I can't accurately portray what I want in my story. I mean original fanfics also give a sense of realism and relate to the readers too. But I guess im not at that stage yet where I can make my crafted stories relate to the readers themselves because im still relatively new to writing. I'm still a novice. 

When I read fanfics, I want to relate to the author and their thoughts when writing it. Somehow, subconsciously I want to feel that too when I write by myself. Then when I read it, I'll be like "Ahhh...thats how I feel too" y'know that feeling that you aren't alone.

I don't know if anyone reads this but this just my random rant out of nowhere. 

Peace out.

(Also first time writing a blog haha)