For those of you who came from my story, 52 to read this, the part in gray italics explains why I haven't updated (well, this blog post as a whole) and my plans for the upcoming week.

My view point at the beginning of this past week were so different than what they are now. It changed in a matter of days, and this past Monday I didn't think I would be at the point I am now.

It's amazing just how quickly your life can switch and turn.

I've done some reflecting in the last couple of days I've been alone (and out of job). My mom has been pushing me yet again to go to nursing school... and you know what... I'm going to do it.

It may not be my dream to be nurse, but if I became a nurse I would never have to worry about not having a job or money for my bills or pleasure-purchases. I can help support my mother without constantly worrying what the next day would bring, and I would be able to pick the hours that I do and don't work, even go as far as to have weekends off, because in nursing you can pick your hours fairly easily.

So, I'm going to go back to school in get my two year degree in nursing. It may not be long term, I may only do it so I can make money while going to school for what I actually want to do, which is writing and teaching English as a second language overseas.

But, it'll be so much easier to pay the bills.

Of course, this will only be if my mother gets this full time job she's looking at, so she can take on some more of the bills again and I can afford to only work part-time. If she does... then I'll grin and bear and go to nursing school.

I've also decided to be a little more positive when it comes to life.

Working my last job tore me down as a person and I not only was unhappy with that, I was unhappy with everything, including myself, and I've decided to kick that in the and be more positive toward myself and my life.

And, since I've been doing a lot of thinking, I haven't done a lot of writing, so unfortunately my update for 52 did not go as planned. I will be going on a trip at the end of this upcoming week, one where I'll be alone quite a bit, and I may NOT have a wifi.. but if I do... I'm going to be doing a ton of writing (and job hunting, even though I have a very small waitress gig lined up if I can't find one). I'll have a lot of down time that week, and I'm going to channel it into writing as much as humanly possible.

As a side note:

I've recently gotten into NCT.. which I may make a blog post about all on its own cause boy has it been a journey (even though it's literally just been like two days). Bless.

Thank you for everyone's support. I really appreciate all of the love and care, and it means so much to me and helped me stay positive in such a dark time.

-Kai