I am editing my longest fanfic, Everyday Miracles, and I just... I started writing it five years ago and I finished it three years ago and A LOT has happened with my writing since then. I mean, I LOVE that fanfiction, it is probably one of the accomplishments I am most proud of in my life (cause it's very autobiographical and it just means so much to me), but... I cringe while editing it. First of all, I wrote it at a stage where I was "afraid" of using the word "said". Someone I really looked up to had said never to use said in your writing, cause it made it flat and boring. So I used EVERYTHING ELSE UNDER THE SUN and it's just.... My characters are exclaiming and inquiring and shouting and gasping and announcing all over the place instead of just saying stuff and it's just... no *shudders*

Second of all, I characterised Zhoumi in a way that I really regret and really dislike now. I am trying to make small changes so he is more likeable but it's just... it's hard reading your own stuff and thinking "if someone else wrote this I probably wouldn't read it"... 

I hope I can do it justice by editing it. I don't want to change the feel of the story, but I think I am doing so anyway by my edits. It's more mature now, which I feel it should be. It will hopefully be a little easier to read as well. 

That being said, despite the massive cringe, I don't for a second regret writing the story or getting a tattoo to commemorate it. It's still my baby and I still hold so much love for the story and the characters, even if they are a little all over the place.