to be honest, january left me quicker than what i expected

it left me behind and i'm running out of ideas, and solutions on how to motivate myself

on how to be studious or how to catch up more in my major and what seems to be "major" subjects.

everything is happening so fast and i just feel very overwhelmed 

i don't even know what to do

i mean, what am i even doing with my life?

i keep on wasting time,money, effort, patience, trust, and most of all

i hate myself for wasting an opprtunity. 

this is a once in a lifetime meal "actually" being handed to me and yet 

my ungrateful self is being dumb and stupid and selfish and,

please give me more time.

atleast time to breathe a little.

z