So yesterday was my birthday. Me, my senior who is my crush( who is more than a crush, let's say my first love) and my best friend go out for dinner. We come back to his apartment. Both of them drink 2 shots of vodka and i drink a whole bottle.. yes i did.. wait i mixed it with bottle of white wine.. yes i was knocked up... i began to cry and puked all over the room. ran to his bathroom puked again. such nice times right. Then he comes inside the washroom and then drunk and pukey me blurts out everything,'it's you, it's you, why so i like you!' shouting and literally waking up his neighbours at 1 in the morning.. did i mention i was crying a lot... wet face... then i just lean on his shoulder.. still crying.. wait i puked again.. yup nice nice times 

so after puking again. i started having a panic attack. he literally was going crazy. i couldn't breathe. kept telling him i don't want to be in love. then as i lay on his shoulder.. he asked,'im a bad guy why do u like me niki?'. then i just stoped crying, looked up and said,' no your not... you are so nice' (imagine me smiling and saying this in a whiny and very drunk voice). then he smiles back. at this point i was too drunk that i saw two face in his face. he kept hugging me and i kept falling on his shoulders over and over. wait we were on the bathroom floor doing this( i forgot to mention). then i started having a panic attack again. breathes loudly a possible( sounds like a cat being murdered or something). then he said,' niki, im not saying no, dont cry, let's see'. i was looking at his face and i just smiled a little smile with tears all over my face( am i effin bipolar?). then as i go to lean on him again he kisses my forehead softly(ahhhhhhh!!!). and then he picks me up saying,' dude ur effin heavy'. im just all over him i couldn't even walk. and then i burst out into a laugh cause we were just standing, hugging and just waltzing there seriosly( p.s. still in bathroom). he carried me to his bed and bam!! i passed out... 

there must have been more stuff but i was too high to function cause my best friend who was in the other room said we talked a lot but this is wat i can remember.. 

last thing : i ran before he woke up and haven't talked to him..