Insecure

Insecure-not confident about yourself or your ability to do things well.nervous and uncomfortable.

God made us with different flaws. He made us with each and different talents. But I just can't help to have my own insecurities. I am a teenager, I've got friends who fully supports me, my family who loves me. And I am lucky to have them.

And I so thankful to have them, but despite of having them. As I've said, I've got my own insecurities.

First is I found myself as LAME. I'm a lame person, the way I dressed, the way I talk to people, the way I do things, it's all lame. I am comfortable at first but as I grew up being lame makes me start to feel uncomfortable. Outdated in other words. I feel like I'm the oldest version of all cellular phones. I tried changing the way I dressed, the way I do things. But I just can't. Even if I do it, I will never be like my friends.

FAME. Yes my friends are popular. A lots of people know them. They also got a lots of friends.People are all friendly towards them. And whenever a senior approaches them I feel like I'm an outcast. I'm like watching them laughing and talking and having fun meanwhile I'm sitting there watching them with no idea on what's going on. It frustrates me.

There was once when a senior befriended me, I feel like he just did it because I'm friends with my friends.

LOVE. I'm too young, It's too early for that. But as we get older my friends are starting to have their own love life. I'm not desperate though it's sad to not to feel to be loved in that way.(If ya know what I mean) I got hurt twice this year (bcs of one sided feelings) And I hope this upcoming 2017 will be more better compared this year.

You see, being insecure is not a good thing. Maybe I'm lame, I'm not popular or I don't have a wonderful love life but I've got my own ways to love myself. Yes I'm lame but I can write and make one shots, yes I'm not famous but I can speak in English, yes I don't have a successful love life but I've got snsd and I have my own merchandise. I can read books, I've got my own collections and etc.

I've also got the stuffs that they don't have,I consider myself unique. And this unique stuffs that I have is the main reason why I'm tyring to love myself. They don't have this. They don't have my beauty. So Don't be like me. I am not a good example, but I'm on process of learning to love myself.

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kwon22 #1 Dec 21, 2016 05:20:31

Thanks for encouraging me guys. That helps me a lot. I'll get this through. One day I will :D

yulhyunkrystal #2 Dec 21, 2016 02:32:14

Hey, author. Even I feel that way too. I feel like I'm never good enough and I'm useless, but hey, I've learnt to just accept it because that's just me. It's better to have a few real friends around then a bunch of fake ones, right? As for love, of course, this is when our raging hormones come into the process, but loce does hurt. We all know that. We just have to learn from it. I've been liking my friend for more than a year now, she knows too, but I'm just remaining this way and it hurts because I see her boyfriend posting things about her and all. It's all just plain sad.
You CAN get through all this though. You just have to put your mind to it. It's hard, but it's definitely doable. There will be ups and downs, but you can do it! :)
If you ever need someone to talk to, we are all here for you. ♥

jmbaculao #3 Dec 21, 2016 01:21:46

Wanna talk?

sleepingprince #4 Dec 20, 2016 14:56:06

I think its good that you are slowling starting to accept yourself for who you are. There's nothing wrong with you :) As you said you are unique so only special people can see the beauty in you . Everyone takes some time to grow . Eventually you'l find what suit you best. Go slow give yourself all the time to explore and understand yourself better. There's no need to give in to peer pressure or anything. You be you. Have more confident and believe in more in yourself . The more you like being who you are the more you will shine ^_^