[rants] im so stressed nowadays i cant take it anymore

seriously living and studying abroad is so tiring...

it used to be okay but now its the midterm period so its really stressful. plus the assignments are all due around this time... like presentations, reports.

i just realised that im chose the wrong major around one month ago and its too late to turn back so i guess i have to live with it. im doing both of my group projects with a super perfectionist friend of mine and its really tiring. one of it is just both of us and the other one is with other 2 friends of mine. she demand a lot of things and i just realised that for the 2 people project, im gonna be speaking like arond 6-7 minutes just about RESULTS. like the results wont have anything but a bunch of datas and she want me to speak around 6-7 minutes. while she's gonna speak like for 3 minutes. FOR THE SAME NUMBER OF SLIDES. who would want want to listen to people blabbering about the results of the survey for 6-7 minutes...

and i really wish im not surrounded by friends who cares a lot about their scores, constantly comparing their scores and judging people just by the how they are when they hang out together. im so tired of it. but thats the nature of students studying in the science majors so i cant help it...

at the same time, im looking for tickets back home for christmas but my mum being so indecisive as i am, she asked me to go to the travel agent here to see the prices. when i ask her, the dates she say its up to me. she just throw me a bunch of datas she got from the website, bring it to the travel agent and comapre them. she got the prices and everything but she dont let me know when is the dates. i cant possibly just chose random dates. like she need to let me know how long she wants me to be home and also whether she can pick me up or not. but its not like she ever care... when im home we only communicate at night and im alone all the time in the afternoon. sometimes i wonder why am i home in the first place. our family dont even celebrate christmas. she said she missed me whenever im home but when im there, it just feel like im going back in time. to the time before i started high school. we only meet at night and maybe go out on weekends. the lonely times. even though its not like i have any friends in japan either...

im not sure whether i can withstand this for another 4 years...

im so tired of this life and i really want to stop.

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eunhye13 #1 Dec 2, 2016 09:42:00

I hate those kind of people too. They keep comparing and competing.

candys1 #2 Dec 2, 2016 09:02:24

Don't stop...if you are stress talk to someone. Think about it this way, it may be hard now but in the end the hard work results to graduating and job opportunity. There are many people who wish they can study aboard, this is your ticket to gain freedom and a successful career path. Have confidence in yourself and if you fail just learn from the mistake and try to do better. Quitting is easy but it doesn't bring in happiness in the long run, unless you want to change to a different major that gives you happiness. If you are almost done with your major then stay with it, it may be too late to change. But you can double major. Sometimes a perfectionist friend is good, they keep you from procrastinating. If you are not ok speaking longer time than your friend, let her know calmly and explain how its unfair or why. It's OK to not be a perfectionist, for someone that has made it this far to study aboard is a great achievement. You aren't alone there are many people who are dealing with this when finals and midterm comes. This is your life, don't let other people bring you down. Sometimes communication solves a lot of problems. Don't just quit. Education is important if you want a successful career path, also there's a lot of people that will be very happy for you when you graduate. Maybe your mother is the loving mother but is not expressive. I'm sure she love you but maybe has a hard way to show it or she's also dealing with some stress.