Author Profile Link: FadedOcean

Author Story Link: Bloody Shadows : Faded

Overview

So, from what I saw, there was major tense confusion. You kept switching from past to present multiple times within a few sentences. Although some people may not notice it, those who do, will have a hard time reading your story. Throughout the chapters, you sometimes used the word ‘albeit’ a little too much and not in the right place. Example: “They obeyed the request, albeit reluctantly.”

The plot is going fine so far. It maintains the readers’ attention successfully. If you keep it up, your story will be great.