Unfair - is gender equality real?

Hello!

I know there were some eyebrows raised when some of you read this title but hear me out.

In the modern family both the mother and the father typically have jobs and in some ways when they come back from work both are tired.

Now my family is the inbetween... both my dad and mom work about the same amount as the work together. But when they get back home my mom continues to work as the cook and  cleaner (and before my sister and I left home... teacher and care giver). while typically my dad would watch TV or just generally relax. 

Now previously my sister and I would help out, but now that it is just my mom and dad is at home my mom has to do everything alone and my dad never helps... like really. My mom for the most part does not seem to mind. But now that I am back home, it really annoys me. my mom and I have been in the kitchen for about 2 and a half hours while my dad watched TV and played on his phone. it makes me angry that my mom would typically do this work all by herself.

When I said my parents are inbetween because my parent still have the traditional mindset of girls in the kitchen and boys at work. Which is ridiculous considering they both work. now I am not saying that my dad doesn't work hard. He works hard in different aspects just not at the same level that I feel my mom does. because the only time my mom typically sit down and relax is about 22:00 to 22:00. mean will about 5 my dad does not have any obligations. but at the same time my dad is the main driving force behind the business so some may argue that it's fair. but with out my mom the business would suffer also they work together for the business.

Bottom line is I feel that it would make sense that both party's be doing housework at home even if it is just a meal. and that would be a criteria for me in the future. As for my parent... I don't think anything would change... it's been this way for 21 years already...

Do you have any similar experiences?

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kimyeon #1
Well, in my family both of my parents are working. My mom gets home from work, cooks a meal, cleans something here and there, water the plants and then babysit my nephew, which is quite tiring I guess (and he makes a BIG mess). Every chore and the work around the house is made by me and my father. I take care of the inside, he takes care of the outside (we've got a really big house and garden). I would never let my father clean our bathroom or kitchen because men are men and "what is wet is clean" lol that's what we say in our country... (Please don't think of this as offensive I know there are a lot of men who CAN and actually do all the chores around the house) The thing is, we don't let my mother do all the things because of her serious back problems (also the reason of her not being able to bring that much money into the family). I would never forgive myself if my mother had to get on her knees and clean the floor (our labrador is living in the house with us so sometimes it's really necessary). Also, my point is, some women are maybe relaxing while doing household chores? I mean, I'm this type of woman and I really enjoy working around the house, although I've got a regular job myself. My father is working solid 12+ hours a day so I can't blame him if he just wants to do absolutely nothing. On the other side I have a bf who gets home before me and the dinner is cooked, the trash is taken out and the apartment is clean. I guess everything is about mutual agreement on certain things. :)
INfiReSmyHeaRTeu #2
In my case, my mom works too, but thankfully we have household assistants. I cant imagine my mom managing the house all by herself. It must be tough on your side :(
All your parents need is to understand each other and to share the burden together :<
But a habit is hard to change, especially ones that has been done for years.
So I guess it's already a dynamic your parents had agreed to and are comfortable to settle in?
mjup10969 #3
With my family, my mom is a stay at home for the past PROBABLY 21 years because of my sibling and myself. She's always complaining about how she does everything around the house while my dad "only" does his work and some yard work with my mom. I think that's fair, after all I help my mom and so does my dad. What's unfair is how it is between us children...I do everything, first to be called by my parents to do stuff and I'm the only one in high school (or a school that matters), my older bro works and plays games all day, my younger sister is a baby, the other one tho doesn't do anything at all and get lots of stufffrom my parents (family won't buy me anything most of the time).
MissMinew #4
No, I don't. I think it depends a lot on the country. My dad usually both cleans and cooks dinner when he's home before my mom and my mom does the cooking and cleaning when she's home first. I think my mom has different standards to how clean she wants their house to be so it's not uncommon that she cleans a little more, but my dad does too - and they both nag my siblings.
Is gender equality real? Probably not. But it sure depends on what country you're looking at - some countries live with a high equality - others with a very low.
SeonNyeo26 #5
I think even birds are better at this aspect of feeding their youngsters.
SeonNyeo26 #6
Eurgh it ate my reply *plucked hairs* and I was saying he could help with groceries or emptying the bin at least but honestly everything should be an adventure in two. Just like two lovebirds feeding their chicken:))
SeonNyeo26 #7
Same in my house. I would help but as you see I am a total bomb
Rosa616 #8
Most households have this mindset. It's what a lot of people, men and women, grew up thinking. I'm not saying it's right, it's what is known. I had an ex that I lived with, he would get home from work at 8 pm. I got home from work at 11 pm but he would not cook dinner. I had to do it when I came home. Again, it's not right but it's what is common and what is known by society.
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