(TRUE STORY MISERABLE LIFE BECAUSE OF ) Should I hide this disgrace?

Authorlily191
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 .... Give a pleasure? When you know the truth, you'll think twice before read or write it!!!!!

 I don't want to blame everyone who wrote about or or any ual act.... Whatever, but it really bother me when I read it. Maybe you'll ask me ... Why you read it when you hate it? I give you a reason. My dongsaeng really like it, at first don't mind of it, but when she asked me. "Eonni, what's inchest? Why Young..... and Kwang..... becomes one?" WHAT THE???? I don't want to act as angel, I just want to tell you that inchest story make me really mad. She isn't my sibling, but I love her like my own. As a sister I want to protect her from this way, at least throw away that give a pleasure.

I concerned in women issues and as eonni I don't want me dongsaeng get bad effect because of immoral story. It's true story that Rifka Annisa (one of Women and Children Protection Organization) received. It's story about victims. (Sorry, for bad translation, I tried my best to translate it)

 

Should I hide this disgrace?

Disgrace is frightening word for many women. To cover it, many women must be willing to endure the miserable life. 
Case: 
Dear Rifka Annisa, my name is N (21). I am confused and need advice from Rifka Annisa. When I was 12 y.o I was in 7th grade, I was forced to have by my older brother. I was very scared and didn't have courage to told my parents. For sure,I thought they wouldn't believe this incident. These keep repeating for a year, and then stopped when my brother has a girlfriend. For nine years I kept these secret. I hate my brother, who made me like this. I was afraid to associating with boys, I growth as loner and tomboy. And now I have a boyfriend and we'll get married. My boyfriend is my brother's friend. It makes me very confused. I was afraid because I wasn't  , and it was my brother who took my ity, none other than friend of my boyfriend. Is he willing to accept me in this condition? I was confused and finally told my parents. They were very surprised. Mother was shocked because didn't think that son who became their pride can be so cruel to his own sister. They can only cry, but they couldn't do anything. 

Actually, I wanted my brother  get punishment, but it will ruin name of our family.Finally, My parents give me advice to forget the past, and asked me to do hymen surgery. It was the best way that my parents thought, is to prevent question from my husband later and to protect my family name. Actually, I don't want to do this, I feel is the same like lying to my future husband. I love him so much, I want to be honest with him. I couldn't lie in entire of my life. I just want peaceful life without keeping secret to my partner. It wasn't fair at all, I've covered my brother's depravity during this time, make sure that he won't take a blame, and act as if nothing ever happened between us, then lying my future husband about my childhood ... bitter. Rifka Annisa  Do you think should I obey my parents wishes and kept quiet to avoid the problem? Thanks for your advice and attention.

 

I didn't translate the replied (advice) that conselor gave to her. I just share her story. You can get the original version (Indonesian Languange) at Rifka Annisa legal site.

You know how many tears must they hold, how many tears that must I hide from them when I heard their story. How many times I tried not to cry and be stronger. I blame my self why I can't do anything. You know how many victims outside? Not just one, two or three everyday , everymonth how many cases that police report, that Rifka Annisa tried to solve. Women Protection Organization willn't give the punishment to suspect, we just try our best to support the victims to continuing her life. Try our best to give them spirit, warm hug, and try the best to be strong in front of them. We have many sad story, not story but tragedy. 

I'm Indonesian and muslim, means anything for us. Many men won't understand about miserable thing that happen to you, they just receive you in perfect way they want. 

When my dongsaeng asked me about . I just gave her weak smile and said " is miserable tragedy" and walked away. 

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Misster #1
In some ways, I do agree with you on . To be honest, I do value ity. And yes, sometimes I do think that men don't understand the importance of it. I feel sorrow for N; no one should ever have to endure . I agree with you on the fact that uous is wrong. But I do think that an uous relationship can be acceptable, as long as it is not or non-consensual. It does not mean I would ever be willing to be in that kind of relationship, and I am merely speaking for those people who may be in love with a family member, but are either afraid to tell them or are ashamed of the fact. I apologize if I have said anything that may have offended or upset you. Our religions are different and so are our views, so I understand if you may completely disagree with me.
Guillemet #2
omg so true. Can I have the link to Rifka Annisa's site? I'm a muslim and malaysian. I may not understand all but I'll try my best to read. aha.