I'm lost..... Why do people trust people so much , why do people care for people, but yet hurt them .

I often ask myself these questions . People tend to come to me for guidence , but even when I help them i still feel like I'm not helping them . I  try to make people smile and 90% of the time I do but , why do I stll feel the urgency to make them smile and laugh harder . I'm good in a lot of areas ( according to people ) but sometimes i feel lost , I want to do many things . But, I reall truly want to be a Kpop Idol . Yes, I'm willing to go through all the hardships that come with it but that's not why I fear my dream. I fear I wont be accepted by other trainees . (If I make it ). But also my parents wont support my disicion . They usually accept everything I do , but i just am nervous about telling them . I'm trying to skip some grades so I have more training time , If i get accepted .but I also feel like its my destiny to have this fate and these hardships

Maybe thats why my head is in the clouds alot in class =)