Can't someone help me?

My dog just died an hour ago (11:55 pm, 16th August 2016) after I came home, only to see her having a minutes after. 

I'm so happy I could at least be with her and take her to the vet's and hold her while she fell asleep and finally went over to the other side,

but I still feel so numb inside, like a part of me has died- and I know that even more than a part of me has died, because Lily was more than just a dog. 

She was my older sister, the one family member who kept watching over all of us, who protected my father who's sitting in a wheel chair and kept him company 24/7, who helped my mother relax after a hard day at work, who helped me calm down whenever I was anxious. 

She was an angel on earth, and I can still feel her paw in my hand, I can still feel her my foot, and Lily, I'm sorry for every single time I pushed you away when you did that, or every time mum and dad yelled at you to shut up when you where just happy to see us coming back home to you and Gizzy.

What hurts the most is that I had to leave her behind at the vet's because my parents had decided to leave her there instead of taking her with us. We had always planned to burry her by her favourite place, the small forsythia bush next to the lake we live at, where my father usually sits and fishes... and now they spontanously decided to just leave her behind. I understand their reasons, I can understand my father not wanting to be reminded of her everytime he sits there, but it would have really helped ME. 

It would have helped me to have her near, to have a place where I could sit down and talk to her... but now her body's gone, and all that is left for me to do, is to enclose the memory of her in my heart and never let it go.

Lily, you went through so much pain for us, day by day, never leaving our side.

Yesterday, I let you go for your own good, but I promise I'll never forget you. 

I won't let you die a second time.

-Caroline.