Oh gosh. I'm so pathetic.

There's only 3 months left till school ends and we'll never be able to see each other again..I think.

It's off to different high schools. Me into a different private school and him into a different private school or public.

Come on! I dont have the courage to say these simple simple words "I like you" or "Will you go out with me?" or "I have feelings for you" or "I deeply like you but not love you yet" or "Can I call you mine?".

-hits and slaps self continuously- Its like Teen Top's Crazy but instead im in L.Joe's position.

But also the girl's position since i'm toooo scared to ask/say anything cause of his friends. I'll be soo embarressed if he denies/rejects my likeness/love for him like in Cupid Shot him in the . Should I keep on trying to make him see how much I like him even though its noticable but he doesnt know? Or stop because its hopeless and useless?. My heart hearts too much each day but I stand it just for him. When will e ever know that I like him this much. Even though im going through many things like family....friends...I still have time to like him and always keep him in my heart. I use to really hate him now look at me. I just one of those other girls who fell for him. SO pathetic right? Like the saying: "Haterd turns into love which can lead to sadness and pain" but I dont care. I just want to be with him and call him mine. I want him to see what the feeling is when a guy hugs you publicly, not ashamed and do those other cute things on dates. I never said no to him before but when I did once, my heart sunk and ached like f**** and I ran to him and said sorry so many times. He was so suprised when I said no to him.

The questions in my head that are stuck there right now for the past months are:

"Is he playing with me?...using me?"

"Does he like me...no..yes..."

"Can I ever confess to him?"

Unnies, Dongsaengs, and Oppas that are in love..in a relationship, can you help me? Im too desperate right now. Any advice? -bangs head on the desk-

How does it feel like to be in love?

Cause everytime I see him, I shout in my head repeatedly "I LOVE YOU" or "I REALLY LIKE YOU!"

I did confess to him before but it was in korean. I said I like you in korean -looks down-

IM...PATHETIC....that all I can say and im sure the peopel reading this also agree.

Sorry for sharing my sadness to you.