hey guys!

so yeah this is a really sad subject and i honestly was putting this off but yeah, im leaving aff.

alrighty so there’s a lot of reasons for doing this, and lack of comments also hurts a lot, i dont like asking for comments or what not, but it honestly helps writers so much to just leave a small lil sentence ;A; sometimes i dont even know if people are reading my fics? and i love writing in general but putting something out there with a huge lack of feed back is kinda disheartening ;; it's kinda weird for me tho?? bc sometimes i get loads of comments n it warms up my heart <3 and sometimes there's nothing ;;;;;; and i really dont want to sound whiny or anything like that, and this really doesnt go for me but for lots of authors out there!! like i read a story that had around twenty or thirty subs but the person only got two comments and just?? ouch that hurt 

and actually the biggest reason on why i just cant write for any fandom anymore:

im tired of the objectification of queer people.

honestly guys, im just so tired. 

i know that you guys are allies and i know that you guys want to help and that you dont mean to do anything wrong! it’s okay bud, i know that you guys would never intentionally do something that further perpetuates the stereotypes of trans and queer people! but damn, i know it’s not intentional, but seeing it happen and seeing it so often is just-very heart breaking in a way. 

the problem is that being misinformed can lead to not only furthering stereotypes but the very objectification of queer people (please notice that im saying queer and not gay).

when you just remove the human beings behind the ship and only focus on your “otp” it really damages idols and the queer community as well. 

take 2min for example, there are so many probabilities that taemin or minho can be queer or trans, but when people only care about the ship itself rather than the whole thing of being queer, it's just kinda gross man. objectifying idols is just so wrong and frankly it’s super hard to distinguish the differences between taemin and minho the actual human beings, or the ship. 

thats the thing with writing about actual people, and honestly im so done with seeing misinterpretations of being queer, or even worse, people writing trans stories that are actually transphobic. i know people dont mean harm, but having good intentions doesnt mean the effect of the action is innocent you know? ;; 

i dont want to call anyone out specifically because i really dont want to be mean in any way! you guys are lovely n sweet and i dont want to bash anyone, but this is a very serious topic that happens way too often and it needs to be addressed 

ahhhh idek man, i just have so many feelings over this :/

however: i still love shinee’s music! shinee is such a special group to me and i honestly owe them so so so much. however being in a fandom is just…been toxic the past few years and i dont know man im tired of it 

and after years of seeing the same thing and trying to correct people, you just get tired of it you know?

im just gonna listen to shinee and appreciate them from my own lil lane just kinda doing my own thing ;;

i also want to focus on my own art and my own writing, as idealistic as it sounds i really wanna write my own book one day!

aff and lj has shaped my writing in a way, and there’s so many lovely writers that are just absolutely brilliant, and ofc there’s those subscribers that are lil golden stars that just warm up my heart whenever i see them comment ♡

and i know silent readers appreciate the work others put out, but please in the future please motivate authors to write <3

you guys have been great, and there’s lots of memories left here, but i hope you guys can understand my frustration with fandoms in general

a big thanks to everyone that read my stuff, silent or not im glad c:

if you guys want to catch my lil trash heart trying to manage shinee while trying to keep up with my aesthetic (and sprinkles of social justice), you can follow my tumblr here [x]

ofc im still gonna linger on here, read some more stories, comment a bit ;; i just dont think i’ll be writing for the community any more

to all the cool queer and trans kids trying to put social justice themes into their work and continuously push their own stories: i lov u guys and i believe in u and ur mission, please dont ever stop writing ♡

ALSO as a ps: im writing one last story! i'll post of the foreword on tuesday and i dont have much written, but yes it will be my last one ;A;

im dragging this whole thing out lmaooo but yeah @everyone thanks for being super nice towards me, i hope you guys are doing well and that you’ll all stay safe <33

bye everyone c:

(also emily, if you’re out there somewhere, im so sorry and i forgive you, hopefully you’ll forgive me too?)