Sunggyu has finally made his All Shook Up debut. The rehearsals were already out, but he’s finally shown up in costume. Let me tell you everything wrong with this—and by “wrong”, I mean “perilous to my ovaries”. Forgive me ahead of time for losing any sort of wittiness I might have possessed. Being slayed by one man in one costume has really frazzled me.

First wrong: that little ascot.

The fact the one end sticks straight out like some kind of rabid, wandering blue tongue is just wrong. It irritates the Type A tendencies in me, because I just want to reach out and push it down.

Or you know, pull the whole darn thing off and leave that y neck bare…

Second wrong: hips. In tight jeans.

So…

Much…

Hip action…wait, what’s the problem again?

Third wrong: leather. And blue.

This combination is a no-no. Because the salamander general is already devastating in leather.

And blue? He owns it.

(Though to be fair, he owns every color. Just like he owns his hotness.)

So to put him in a combo of leather and blue? Yeah, that sound you hear is noona’s ovaries imploding from the hotness.

I could go on indefinitely, but to be honest, I need to ice my ovaries, so I’ll stop here. If you feel your babymaking parts can take it, go ahead and enjoy this short clip of our cutie commander shaking up hearts and the resolve to be civilized in the face of such adorable/iness. (And if you’re like me and can’t make it to the live show, enjoy a good cry of frustration. I know I did.)

This post approved by Kim “My looks can kill” Sunggyu.

Bonus: Anyone know how many countries Hello Venus’s Alice saved in her past life? I’m thinking over two dozen, considering she gets to be dipped by Sunggyu…and also gets to beat the bejeezus out of him! Ha!

*Pictures and video credited to their owners.