So apparently I cried in class and its very shameful.

The story goes like this, the lecturer asked us to draw anything. So I drew a person with wings, trapped in a glass cage. And then she said to present them and I know Im dead. I was like the last one to present and it looks like no one had drew anything negative. All of them are like a positive marshmallow while Im a dark chocolate. 

So when its my turn to present, I never thought that I'd cried. All I knew, my lips starts to stutter and my eyes starts to get watery. By then, I couldn't talk at all and the people's stares are worsening my anxiety. 

If you didn't know me, actually Im a very bright person.

Umm I tell you about the picture I drew. (Im actually a good artist #selfcomplementing)

The meaning of the picture is that person is literally me. The wings shows that I could fly but Im stucked in a cage. The cage is made of glass, something that could break easily but I stayed. The reason is if the glass breaks, the shards will hit me and I wanted to stay because the cage is like my skin. Im that typical person who seeks freedom, spreading my wings freely but at the same time afraid. Living in this world, I couldn't trust anyone even my own family. Im afraid to sacrifice myself if it only brings pain more. The scars on my heart are all from me. But still, by drawing that picture, by typing this blog entry, it shows how much I wanted to change. Theres another reason the cage is glass. I want people to see how hurt I am. Yes, Im a attention seeker. But at the same time I dont want their pity as itll mix with my ego ending into a major breakdown. I hate myself for letting pride taking control over me.

Im glad, I cried. Because something felt lighter. But also something felt heavier.