Hear me out

Hey.

 

It's been a  long time since I update my story which has a lot of comments lately. Thank you for my readers' patience. Unlike writers out there. I update my story whenever I have a time.

 

I just wanna talk this with you guys. Probably no one will give a .

 

There are a lot of things that happened to me lately. One of them is about my education. I am just an ordinary girl who decided to take engineering as my major. I used to brag about this to a lot of people. I feel so happy because finally I can make my parents proud of me by taking this major.

No. 

I am not smart.

In fact, I hate math since the day I knew it. I like math when it comes to counting a money, anything relates to the money. I love it.

 

I had my first final today as an engineering student. I feel like I am going to fail for this whole unit. I have math and other 3 subjects to go. I feel like I can't do this anymore. I feel like being an engineering student isn't me. I feel like this isn't my field.

But...

 

I don't wanna make my parents sad because I keep failing. I have a sibling that is a oppisite of me. She is a genius, smart, good attitude, cute. Perfect.

I feel like I am such a disgrace for my whole family. Because I am such a stupid person. I do have brain but I couldn't use it. I talked with my mom about it. That I feel like engineering isn't my major. She said it's okay, everthing will be fine.

No.

I know it's not. Deep down I knew she is disappointed with myself. But she is my mom, she supports the outta me. She is the one who be there for me when everyone decided to turn away and walk away from me. The day when my friends forget about me. She is the one hug me while I am crying.

 

Dad.

I didn't talk about education a lot with him. We rarely communicate with each other. He used to get mocked out by people. Because he graduated from the lowest university from my country. But look at my family now. 

I had a very bad childhood memories, where I got bullied for being a poor kid with my sister. She protects me,getting hit from kids around my neighbourhood. Dad can't do anything about it, so is my mom.

It's so scary that money can turn people to be monsters.

Back to my education, I feel like I just wanna drop out from my university, and open my own business. But without degree what am I going to do?

I am not Bill gates who dropped out from top university. Man I just came from this university that doesn't even make it into top 50.

I wanna drop out to persue my dreams, doing my own passion and feel happy. I feel like I wanna go out from this hell. 

 

But then..

I remember, I have life, I have my family. My parents who spent their money to pay this tuition. My sister.

What should I do?

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Comments

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AsianBandsAreGold #1
Welp, this is late and you've probably solved this, but you know what, I still feel like commenting. First of all, if you have a goal, work towards it with all your might, get rid of the though that you are stupid, you are smart, you can spell, write create stories and portray what you think, you are smart, don't compare yourself to another, especially not your family, if you can write, walk, talk, you are smart, not everyone's the same so you shouldn't compare yourself to anyone. You are beautiful, everyone is, you are smart, you've been through hardships and you didn't give up, so don't give up now. The more hardships you go through in life, the better of a person you will become. If it is a major you want to o then do it, not everyone is perfect from the start, hard work takes you places, you don't need to be a genius. You sister seems nice, in no way should you feel inferior to her because she is family. es, it's scary how money can change people and create havoc, but that's just how it is, just make sure that you aren't infected by it, people will fight for that worthless paper and dirty coins. When you feel that life is crashing down on you, it's important to have a get away, someone or something that will put you at ease and strengthen you for the next battle, life is a battle field, but only when you make it one. Personally when I am uneasy, I write, I smell peppermint, I eat, I think, I go into my back yard and breathe, I draw, take your mind off of it and be free just for a moment. When you fall family will be there to pick you back up, good friends will be there to comfort you, it's okay to fall,but remember, to get back up.
BrownBricks96 #2
If you ask me, i think you shouldn't give up on your major. When you feel like giving up, think of it like you are doing this for your parents. It's the least you can do. If you have problems with your school work, maybe you can get your profs to help - call them up for consultations, i'm pretty sure they are more than happy to help. Once you know your profs better thru this, you can plan your next semester wisely - choose classes based on either your interest or profs that you think are helpful. It will help you. Hwaiting!! I know it's tough. But you'll get thru it
njlluv #3
I actually kinda envy you because at least you have a dream to open your own business.

When I graduated from university, I didn't even know what I want to do in my life. So I took "the safest" road and honestly at one point I regret my decision. However, life goes on... and now I kinda know that I got lots of opportunities from my job.

I think you have to discuss this with your family, ask their opinions. However, remember that you are the final decision maker in this matter. You also have to ask yourself regarding how prepared you are with the new business. Is it only a "mere" dream or you already think of a concept and action plan to make that dream real?
Marknyoungie #4
I guessed it ia totally up to your choices. I have been transferred about 3 different course until I find something I wanna do. So I think you could try that. Second thing is about other opinion. My mom usually compare me to other kids who around that do better than me. Now I think unless she aay to you :" hey you know what, I'm dissapointed about you." I think she still happy as you be open to her, care enough to share what you think to her and fully supported you. she not dissapointed, but hope. My mother doesn't have faith in me whatsoever in education and life, and I feel upset about it, also the fact that my older brother is so ing smart but never treasure his opportunity and I feel jealous, it qon't stop me to dream big and do my own thing. Stop rely on others but look at yourself and go for it.
lastly, about the business, I think you need to work and build your experience b4 open it. But totally up to you, succeed or failure, it doesn't matter. Because successful is the result of failure.
Jirongiepeach #5
Also, talk to ur family about ur dreams. Press through and stay strong through any objections because i'm not going to sugarcoat anything and say there won't be. But, think about it this way. Every single passing day is a day closer to ur dreams. Even if u stay in ur course and it doesn't feel like u are getting anywhere or even going backwards, that's not true. And always remember. U cannot give up. For urself and for the people around u.
Sorry i had to split it it became more than 2000 words
Jirongiepeach #6
Heyy, firstly i want to say i love ur story so much out of my 130+ subscriptions i look forward to urs one of the most. Don't ever feel that way about urself i have been bullied for the stupidest reasons too and i would be lying if i said i was strong but after all this ends it would be a learning point for us to grow from. U are very very strong not many ppl are able to get through so much difficulty so don't ever think u are a failure. What defines a failure? Someone who doesn't hit society's standards? Then out of the few billions of ppl in the world how many would be failures? Wouldn't that make everyone who is a failure to be normal? Don't let society define u, define urself. No one has the right to change u. If u want to achieve more, work harder. Trust me i know easier said than done and i'm so sick of ppl telling me to work harder when i'm alrdy falling sick over lack of sleep but rlly is there anything else you can do? In order to chase my dream, i also have to sacrifice alot of my education time. But i think that it's most important to enjoy what you are doing? "Hold fast to your dreams, for if dreams die, life is a wing-less bird that cannot fly." Dreams are there for a reason, and as much as it would pain my single parent, my mum, that i have to leave my country to chase my dream, i have to do it. Every dream comes with a sacrifice. The bigger ur dream, the bigger the sacrifice. It would hurt, definitely. But ask urself if it is worth it. If it is, go for it. When u earn back all the money ur parents have lost, u can return them tenfold or hundredfold.
anny212 #7
Wow, first, its okay. I felt/feel the same way. This was my first year in college too and it was not what i expected at all. Like my sister is also super smart and that makes my mom pressure me into thinking im the same which im totally not and i used to think i was smart but then I went to my college which i think in my case i set myself up for. I went to the top university for animal science which is my majour which is much harder than many would think its like 5 times worse than being pre-med and being with other top kids who were just as smart and i started failing made me feel like dropping out and you know what. Instead of doing that, i went through another semester of being animal science and kinda suffered but i also took other classes that werent to explore. I'm changing my major since it is too hard and i keep failing and that is never good enough for my parents who are also kinda poor and my tuition is like 64k. I even got too stressed and developed health issues this semester haha. Cries, I couldnt update my fanfic either. (Fellow JinMark fanfic writer)
What we always wanted out of life doesnt mean its for us. i wanted to be a vet since i was 3 and now im switching majors and giving up on that dream but not fully. I think you should take up a minor that you think you would do well in or take only a few engineering classes and then take like distrubution requirements of fun classes. There are also career advisors if you wanna talk to them and they can help you sort out your stuff. Join some clubs to take your mind of your work, it will also give you friends that are not in your major so you dont have to compare yourself to them. Dont be afraid to switch majors and even if you wanna stick it out thats ok too. Like i switched majors and started a concentration in my old major but even now idk if that is good for me or not sooooo. Haha, we just have to try because freshman year is always the hardest. Failing is ok sometimes
0Alicia0 #8
I wouldn't recommend dropping out completely but if you are sure and you feel like engineering is not for you, then how about changing major? Can you change your major in your university? Because honestly it's going to be hard out there without a university diploma with no secured future.. As you said your parents have spent money on your education..

Do you really think this is not for you for the right reasons? Or do you just need the motivation to continue?

I'm a medical student and I have many times felt like I'm not smart enough for this. Everytime I go take an exam I feel like I'm going to fail and get kicked out... but at the end of the day everything works out fine even though it's a struggle everyday. I just keep the goal in my mind and the reason why I'm doing this. To have a secured future and help my family financially. I also don't enjoy this one bit. But I can endure. Because I can't see myself being anywhere else...

Do what you feel is right for you to feel better and for you to be able to live more easily. Breath more easily. Change your major if you must. But get a degree on something or come up with a secure business plan that you can go through with... but honestly owning your own business is not secure at all there can be inflation and you are against big corporations who has a lot of money and fame that you can't compete with. BUT few has succeeded in building their own business and they are flourishing. Who knows you could be one of them :D

We only have one life (that we remember if you believe in recarnation :D) so use it wisely. Don't de anything you will regret later. Though most of us regrets things we don't do more than things we do.

This is your life only you can decide what to do with it :D

GOOD LUCK TO YOU and I hope with all my heart that you will figure everything out and will find a solution! Oh I so hope that you will be happy! Remember whatever happens you are not alone :D you have your family and friends!
Jinyoungnuna #9
Well seems like i know your feeling very well because i am in that position too..
I can't give you good advice,, but the most important is just do everything you want to do before it late..
Because doing something that not really we want feels like hell ..
I know you must thingking about your parents and sister,, you want make them happy..
But don't forget,, before you make them happy,, you must make yourself happy..
Try to find what do you really want to do,, make sure that thing you will do can bring you and your family happiness..
Our life always about choice,, and i hope you will choice the good one..
Fighting..
MINOUMINOU #10
i think you need to choose your own path i know that society is cruel but if you make someone happy and not yourself you will just be mesirable ,if you have a gift of reading or writting why cant you just change your studies or like you sed open your own business
good luck
JinyoungsMark #11
Do what is right for u authornim.if u wanna drop out and make business i suggest u should follow ur dream.but business needs alot of money to start ..it will be a struggle at first..y not u start business and at the same time studying bcos u need to see how ur business success or not..if it a success u can just drop out..

or u can aks ur parents for their suggestion and their encouragement..i'm sure ur parents will understand u and will still love u..don't worry! I'm sure ur parents r proud of u!!cheer up authornim ;)
laurenisaninja #12
Life I'd a ed up thing. Now I ain't telling you to go and drop out of college because god knows your parents want the best for you and I'm school trust me I have had and I am still having my share of school nobody in their right ing mind likes math but if it gives you do
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