so i wrote this about two weeks ago

and never told you how the story ended...

lol, well after i sent him my letter/apology

(the edited version is below, it includes the introduction and conclusion)

i waited for him to reply to it

guess what?

HE DIDN'T

at first i was all "THAT JERK"

but now i don't care so much

lol, i thought he hadn't forgiven me...

read the ending if you want to see our ending!

During the twenty minutes after you told me how disappointed you were, I felt like everything had come crashing down on me. At first, I didn't believe you. I thought you were joking around with me. Payback for what I said to you to show me how you felt, and as a warning to never do it again. Slowly I began to notice that you weren't kidding. You were serious and you meant ever word that you said. I've never regretted doing something as much as I regret doing what I did to you. You made me realize how childish I am, and how I haven't matured at all. I know I only think about myself and act without thinking, but after this, I don't think I can live with myself, knowing that I hurt you, which resulted with me hurting myself. What's written below are the thoughts that ran through my head...

The most important thing in a friendship is trust. Without it, the bond can never be accepted.
I'd lost his trust. How? It was over the stupidest thing ever. But i still did it. And I lost him and an even greater thing, his trust.
Why I did what I did, I'll never understand. Did I do it for fun? Out of boredom? Amusement? Whatever the reason was, it never matched what I had before. I didn't gain anything from it, only my loss. My loss, his loss, it wasn't shared.
Those first fleeting moments when he'd told me he'd been disappointed in me. That he'd never thought that I'd be the type of person to act the way I did. They made me laugh. He didn't know me how he thought he did. I was cruel. Heartless. A deceiver. Always hiding my true feeling behind the mask of happiness. After the sweet taste of laughter left my mouth, I was alone with the bitterness of regret.
His escape left an imprint in my mind. I realized what I had done. I'd traded him. I'd turned my back to him, and didn't think for a second on how he'd feel. I'd turned my back to him, when all this time, he'd never turned his back to me.
Apology after apology, the words don't matter anymore once repeated. They don't change anything. You can only change how you continue to act in order to show how truly sorry you are. How did I not avoid this mistake? I'd already done it once in the past? How could I not see I was going to lose another friend?
I thought about him. Who he was to me. Thoughts of him clouded my head and wouldn't go away. They hailed down words of pity and anger on me. That there'd never be a person like him. A person who would always smile and laugh even if I made mistakes.
But I had gone too far. I'd reached my limit, moreover broken it and suffered the punishment. No longer would I ever hear words of joy. Only silence. The trust that I had lost was forever out of reach. I could never grab hold of it. Never see it. That empty space was filled with sorrow. He was gone. And he would never speak with me again.

Your words made me reflect on who I was a as person, and who I want to be in reality. I told myself this year that I'd be the one who wouldn't make you upset, but I still find myself being the one that hurts you and brings you down. I'm not the best person to talk to when you're down, but I'll really try my hardest to become that person you can count on! As for gaining your trust back, I'm not the one who decides that. I may not be worthy to get a second chance, and even after thinking it through, I still don't think I'm ready. I need to grow more. I hope though, that in the future, I won't disappoint you again, and become that person that you can trust. Please continue to support me, and don't give up on me~! I'll try to make you proud :)

so i sent this to him

and i told my friend to text him so he could go read it

she told me that he told her that he was going to reply with only 2-3 sentences

in my head i was like, "THAT SON OF A BAPFIAFPSODGBA"

seriously?

i poured my heart out

and you want to give me 2-3 sentences?!?!?

in the end he never replied to my email

so later, he texts me

.....

WHY?

.....

HE WANTS TO TALK TO ME ABOUT MY FRIEND

WHAT THE EFF?!?!

that's the thing i hate about him

the only thing he'll want to text me about is how much he loves my friend

and how much she neglects him and crap

I REALLY DON'T CARE

anyway i asked him why he didn't reply to my email

and he says "i didn't know how to, it was really deep"

LIARRRRRRRR~!

he's such a weirdo

remember how he said he'd never trust me again

and that his trust was really hard to gain back?

LIES

i gained it back in like 2 days -.-

what a fraudulent home...sigh