Ok I've decided to write this blog about my father who is now no longer with me and that's very unlucky of me? I do not have any idea. I hope people out there who still have their parents with them do treat their beloved ones aka parents with so much love. Once you lose them, it's either you will keep going on with life or stuck with the past memories. 

My mom suddenly brought this thing up again, just now. I missed having a father. In fact, I don't get the chance to feel a father's love. Thus, I am kinda awkward with guys around me except my bloody brother who has been protecting our family since he was 9. After my father's death due to a heart attack and i was only 2 months back then. Plus my sister was only 4 years old and mom did not have any work. My relatives used to ask my father about money  and he would give it so we kinda lack of money. 

My mom sometimes says "I live with you longer than I lived with your father. You are 17 now so it has been 17 years without him." and her nose always goes red everytime she says that and if I said I didn't get effected by of it is totally a lie. I would silently pray for my mom for her happiness. She is a strong woman I swear and everyone sees that. She searches money with her own two feet and earn money every day without even complaining. She doesn't like to borrow money from someone even from our relatives. Even when we have no money left, she always tries to earn it no matter what. I don't care about my mom's flaws. In fact, she is the beautiful mom in my eyes and I really love her.

Last year my mom got married with a guy on october 2015 and I hate him. I am so glad mom just divorced with him a week ago. I didn't like the way he treated my mom and I am happy that mom realized it. I am not gonna talk about him because he is not worth my time but I never felt the father's love when he married mom. He never did what a father would do to their children and I was not crave the love from him so I am glad he is out from our house. There are lots to talk about him but nevermind.

I always crave for a father's love. My father died when I was only 2 months and it was very tough years for mom to raise us. I really can't describe how proud I am to have a mother like my mom. Having her by my side is more than enough. To say that I am not jealous whenever my friends talk about their fathers is a lie also. But I feel lucky because mom raises us like how every parent do so I don't feel very envy towards them. I really want to hear my father's laughs, his hugs, his kisses. My cousin says that my father was a gentle, smooth talker and sweet and I am jealous to hear that. Oh how I wish we could turn back time.

Okay, setting all this aside, my point is you as a good children or otherwise, please just please even you hate your parents, please love them and show it so they will feel loved, appreciated. As they get older, most of them wanting to feel loved from their children so please show it. Parents are number 1 and without them, there is no you. 

Thank you for reading this, darlings. 😊