I am so grateful for the response I have gotten to If It Wasn’t For You (I’d Be On My Own). I am floored by the amount of people who have subscribed, I wasn’t expecting that many people to see it. As someone who used to want to be an author, it feels very surreal. This could be the closest I get, and I have loved seeing the notifications and comments. Thank you sooo much!

Because I’m so grateful, I do want to apologize to my subscribers for being absent for so long. I’m not the first person to say it, but life hits hard sometimes. While I have had some amazing experiences that have simply kept me too busy to write (a trip to Korea in December and the EXO concert in Vancouver in February), I found myself living in a situation that turned out to be bad for me in a lot of ways. It took one more cross state move and the end of a few friendships, but the pieces are starting to come back together.

Writing is a very therapeutic thing for me, I’m sure there are a lot of people who can relate. You put little parts of yourself into your characters, little pieces of your life and experiences. For the past couple months my mental state has really not been good. While I have been writing, I couldn’t work on this particular story because I wouldn’t have been able to do the plot or the characters justice. I hope you can forgive me for the long wait knowing that it was in the best interest of this story for me to wait until I was in a better place to write it.

This story is very important to me, the plot and the characters take up so much of my thoughts that I can’t wait to get it out of my head and into words. I do hold myself at a high standard because of that, though, and it slows me down because I want everything to be just right. At the time of posting this blog, the next chapter is close to being done, I’m just trying to make sure I nail down the timeline and some smaller details. There should be an update soon.

I know I said when I first posted that I wanted to update weekly, but that has proven to be unrealistic for me. I am working on writing far enough ahead that I can start updating regularly, but I don’t have a schedule I feel confident in worked out yet. I hope you can be patient with me as I work on writing a story that hopefully you will enjoy but also a story I can be proud of. Unless explicitly stated otherwise, I won’t discontinue or put this story on hiatus. I think about this plot a lot, I’m always trying to make it better even if I’m not posting.

I am considering posting some of the oneshots and short stories I have been working on in the time I’ve been away. They are all Kaisoo, but are quite a bit darker than If It Wasn’t For You has been so far. That is something to maybe look forward to if you would be interested in reading some dark, angsty mental illness fics…

If you have questions about If It Wasn’t For You, anything I’ve said here, or just any comments in general, I’d love to hear from you! You can comment here, or I also have a tumblr here or a brand new ask.fm here.

Thank you so much for you time. I appreciate you!

-whatyouthoughtyousaw