< 憧れ / JO JEONGHA >

"yeoum-ah, you have to know that every single thing that you have done for me, i treasure them eminently. you're beyond compare the supreme bestfriend i will ever have and i cross my heart that you will always hold a special place in the organ that pumps my blood. i swear by the name of heaven, lea cho yeorum, i ing love you. i'd trade all of my tomorrows for just one yesterday with you. but it seems like god loves you more."

 

< / prsnlty > 
   sparks fly    : confident, calm, open-minded, nonchalant

   sparks off    : possessive, envious, irresponsible, vague
   archetypes  : lawful neutral, the nerd, false quiet kid

   famous quotes by jeongha    :
; "yeah, you're probably right"
; "yes."
: "amen. let's go."
: "why are you drinking my coffee?"
: "i'm sensing the aura that you're lying."
: "please don't touch my things. i don't like it."
: "you. little. piece. of. shi- shrek.

 

 

 

"jeongha. if you want, i can help you present better."
"i- yes. yes of course. i mean, yes please."

 

"aww, that's a cute notebook!"

"you name your notebooks? can i name this one?"

 

"what look am i going for today?"
"it's your cousin's wedding. i think... hm... you're going for punk rock!"

 

"oh! i love that one but what about crescent rose?"

 

"don't let me wear that glitter socks. please"
"hey, barbies never defy their professional stylist."

"i love your diary, it's unique. words makes me sleepy but yours makes me feel... grateful for living."
"i'd rather call it story ideas but diary is okay too."

 

"i'm just wondering, yenim, did you ever feel sad when they call you grandma?"
"not really. greatmas are great."

"look, i respect your decisions and professional sense of fashion, yeoum-ah. but i'd love it if you'd stop doodling bras on crescent rose.
"they're sunglasses, thank you and no i will not stop."

 

"you said we're going shopping for new clothes today. where are you?"
"oh, i did? i'm sorry jeongha, i feel hella sick. let's do it next week."

 

"congratulations yeorum for graduating. i'm happy."
"yeah, thanks. hey, monk, i think that guy is calling for you. better check him out."

 

"roadtrip? sounds nice. count me in."
"yeah, i'll be inviting my other four friends. is it okay?"

 

< / reaction to the "incident" > 

“yeoum-ah.” her voice came out as a whisper. she was holding her tears as if the earth will never accept her if she ever drops one. her lips was trembling as much as her legs was shaking. she did not feel the blood running down her face. not even her broken arm, her broken fingers bothered her. the feeling of emptiness, a feeling she could never explain even in a million years, was overpowering every senses in her body. the world was painfully slow in her vision with no sounds at all. discerning some of her friends unconscious. seeing some of them crying on the ground. staring at yeoum, being carried away into an ambulance. there was shards of glasses on her face and so much blood. she still has more blood than us five combined. it was hell scary. jeongha was not sure if it was solely yeorum's but hell she was praying that at least third fourth of it was someone else's. but she was wrong, big time. the second she stepped into the chaotic hospital, she saw the tensed face of a person wearing blood-stained white coat desperately trying to find her pulse, claiming that he lost her and she was not breathing. hearing a voice denying and said that they must try, jeongha immediately lost all of the strength in her leg. she knew right there and then, she will never hear yeorum’s voice anymore unless some movie miracle s happen. she fell down holding tight of a person's arms near her and cried uncontrollably. what was all in her head was that she lost yeorum. forever. and she is never going to see her again.
 

< / how are they after "the incident" > 

"i'm not fine at all. i'll try to be." that's exactly what she would say if somebody asks her about her well-being. jeongha is not going to deny anything.  she knew that doing that is not going to help her get any better. she never tries to hold her tears. she is not strong like yeorum's other friends. yeorum's death did took a terrible tool on jeongha. she tries to act like how she normally would, continue her routinely activities like how she normally would too but in the end of each day, she will fail miserably. most of yeorum's friends always get mad at her stating that she will not 'revive yeorum back' by crying and that seeing her cry makes them look heartless. jeongha never intends to make them feels like so, it is just jeongha is weak. after that event, jeongha locks herself in her own room, away from them so that they know jeongha is not trying to disrespect them. jeongha stops writing, partially because she has broken arm and fingers but mostly because of yeorum. she could try to learn to write with her other hand but she would rather rest and return to it after everything settles down but she doubt her stories would be as good as before. her sleep paralysis had too, gotten more frequent and scarier. it leads her to sleepless nights and if it continues, she might going to have imsonia. but after yeorum's death, jeongha is more focused about learning how hard yeorum had to suffer that she ultimately became an esteemed silent warrior and how strong yeorum was to endure it all. jeongha had respected yeorum before and she will always respect her until it is jeongha’s turn to die.
 

< / what were they doing before it happened > 

“i can't really remember. it feels like bits of the memory is fading and being taken away.” jeongha claimed. she tried so hard to forget those memories. she still cannot believe that when yeorum was dying, jeongha did not do anything. the least she could do was to hold her hands in her last moments and she did not. now, why the hell does she has to recall again. she scrunches her face. but if telling them will help somebody then she'll try to get it out.  jeongha rummaged in her bag, and took out her notebook.

 

“i used to write stuff in this.” she said. carefully turning the pages like it was fragile little glassware. the notebook (or crescent rose jeongha likes to call it that) has a lot of, for what it might have been jeongha’s memories but in drawings and messy scribbles rather than in neat paragraphs. she finally stopped turning at a particular page, the only page of the book, that is folded in. she gasped lightly as the incident perfoms vividly infront of her eyes again. her eyes started to get watery as her shaky hands trying to unfold it. jeongha took a slow, deep breath and gave the book for the person to read. it was messier than usual as she writes in a hand cast. why did she write it? it was selfish of her to think that the 'incident' was a good plotline for a story and she hates herself for it. 

 

“i remember i was -” she gulped, “i was singing along with the my friends. one of them brought along a guitar so.” she blinked furiously, wiping the tears off her face. her voice changes ever so slightly, 

 

“i never knew that yeoum was crying until someone told me after everything settled down.” there was a pause. she bit her lips and finally lost it. she looked down and let the tears fall freely, 

 

“she was always there when i need her but when she needed me, i was never there. i feel like a jerk. i feel like- i feel like i took her for granted.” jeongha gripped the hem of her shirt hard. 

 

< / commnts > first and foremost, i's like to apologize in advance for all of the grammar mistakes and i hope this application meets your standard at least. i love angst but unlike my character, i can't write nor speak english or korean or my own language very goodly. god i hope, i really hope i don't embarrass myself. i love you. and yes the last question of the interview, the answer seems to be... amissed. *sighs* oh well. *throws laptop out of the window*

 

< / questns > do you think that if you hover on the very first picture of this blogpost, it will show a very secret information? how are you btw? will you love me bcs i love you? did i depicted yeorum right?