I've been feeling kinda crappy :/

This is a personal rant, feel free to ignore :)

I've been feeling rather lost and stuck for a very long time, and my disorders have gotten worser by the second.

I feel like the only time I feel happy is when I write and get the lovely feedback my friends and subscriber give me, writing to me has become very important to me since it relieves my stress and honestly, I'm in my own world at the point where I engrossed myself in my stories.

But I've been yearning to do so much more, to move from this draining island and continue studying in makeup school in New York and my absolute most favorite desire is to transfer to Japan, even if it could get extremely hard I feel deeply an incredible love for that place and it brings me such a good feeling just imagining it!

But I'm being pulled back by my fears and it's like I'm glued to the ground and to the same people here ..

I yearn to meet people like me and explore so much more out there.

Yamada Ryosuke has been a great inspiration for me in every way possible, fashion and to never give up, to pursue my dream of being a makeup artist for and work backstage. And of course, my writing :D

I'm sorry for bothering you with this, but I'm truly lost and I do not share these thoughts with my personal friends since they would not understand.

I'm grateful for the friends here than keep me motivated, you guys really give me happiness ❤️

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Emihyuu #1 Mar 16, 2016 03:05:15

I know exactly how you feel because I feel the same ! For the second time actually. I'm not here to tell you about my personal feelings but just don't give up ! There are a lot of moments in a lifetime when things go the wrong way and you just feel down and unable to fix them ! And those moments are here just to put a bit of "spices" in our lives ! If everything was perfect and that we could reach our goals just by a single wink, in my opinion, life would be totally bothersome and we'll lose the taste of it too fast ! Just hold on ! There's always a little push which will show up at a time you won't expect it to arrive ! It might be hard but like a lot of people says "pacience is a virtue" !

sleepingprince #2 Mar 16, 2016 01:09:28

Nothing is imposibble . Believe in yourself and believe more in your dreams :) Fighting

cathe_ #3 Mar 16, 2016 00:45:32

I have anxiety, depression and all the bad stuff so it's hard for me to move on with my life and try new things but I don't want to be stuck here forever. I can only hope that someday we can find the courage to do what we dream of. Best of luck! *hug*

AyumiKonaoko #4 Mar 15, 2016 22:48:25

I can't imagine... transitioning to a new place is both exciting yet terrifying. If anything, I want you to know that I'll be here! You can message me any time and I will respond! From what I've seen from you, you have an incredible talent in writing and creativity. I'd say "I'm sure you can do it" but I'm holding onto the assumption that you've probably heard that phrase a gazillion amount of times in your life. Well, I mean it. The worst attempt is the one that never happened. For people like us with disorders, its a thousand times harder but it's not impossible. If you have the right mindset and support, you'll definitely be able to make it in Japan and I'll be there cheering you on every second of your journey! :)

The_iKONic_VIP_B2uty #5 Mar 15, 2016 21:23:35

U have anxiety problems?