I at saying the right thing, so I'm not gonna try and garble out some perfectly worded response because I know it wouldn't help! But I will say I think you're awesome, and the very fact you choose to talk about these things here is something I admire because it can't be easy a lot of the time! Just know I love you and what you do, and I want you to stick around =D and also.... here, have some hugs :) o=^^=o

I know how you feel and dont kill your self and my sister said that to me too and life will get better. My depression is so bad right now but im trying to live day by day.

feelings are uncontrollable so telling someone you can choose the way you feel is quite wrong/stupid. but dont let this get you down fight let this make you stronger show people you can do this. Heechul wouldnt like his number 1 fan feeling the way you do he would want you to smile for him. so keep fighting even if you feel like its not worth it find that light inside you and never let it fade !!!

Why would someone choose to be depressed. Or have depression. It doesn't make any since. It's not fair for someone to say that. You are not selfish.

I'm a tiny bit confused, who in the world CHOOSES depression and suicidal thoughts as the FEELINGS of the day? You are the least selfish person I know and I am sorry that you are having to go through this. If I could take it from you I would. We here on AFF need you to live. Who else will give me my daily dose of Heechul (even when I don't want it)? Who else is going to finish the Madam HeeHee series or give me my daily dose of Heechul inspired ? I know this is SELFISH of me but I can be selfish if I want. Just like you can be. Be selfish for LIFE. Be SELFISH for all those people whose lives you've touched. Be SELFISH for YOU.

So you only wish to see that you aren't being selfish. That's the only thing you want to believe.

Hey darling, you are not selfish. In any way. People who have never felt the way you do can't possibly understand what you are going through. He doesn't know. That's a very common reaction from people who have never had bad depression. I'm so sorry that you are going through this, but just know that you are not alone and I believe you can get through this. I know it hurts and it's awful having people say things like that to you, but you are wonderful and I believe in you. Keep fighting, love~

Hop I provided a different insight.

I don't wish to sound mean at all.
But it's how I feel, you know?

No, no, you aren't selfish, sweetie. You're very kind and considerate, that much I know even if I don't know you well. And you aren't a burden. Don't feel bad. Just as your father doesn't understand how you feel, you may not understand how he's feeling. That's where you may need to communicate better. Try to get on the same page as each other. And remember, you aren't a burden, and are NOT selfish.

i went through something similair with my mom, and it was only when she had to get me hospitalized that she realized that oops, i actually am trying and its not my selfishness or lack of motivation to get better. i hope your dad is going to realize it, too - parents often turn out more understanding than we expect in the beginning.
but, god, its irritating how hard to understand the concept of depression is to people who dont struggle with it - youre not selfish, you need to think about yourself, its not your job to make other people happy. your job is to make /yourself/ happy and thats often the hardest thing there is.

No. Ok? No. You are NOT selfish. You can control the way you feel, but you can't /choose/ it. You can manage your depression. You can control how it affects you. You can make sure it doesn't overwhelm you, but it isn't something you can do instantly. It takes time and practice. But the last thing you are is a selfish burden. You are neither selfish nor a burden. You can fight this, but first you need to manage it. Once you manage it, once you know what you are facing, then you can defeat it. Your father, as much as he cares about you, does not understand that. Very few people do, and sometimes they say things like this out of ignorance, and they believe that they are trying to help, but they don't know how to. Mental health is such a taboo subject that people don't know how best to talk about it, so little is being done to help those who have issues with mental health. But the last thing you are is a burden, to anyone. Your father wouldn't see you as a burden, even if he says so. Your father would move heaven and earth to make you happy, but he doesn't know how to do that. He doesn't understand how depression affects you. That's not his fault, and it's not yours. The only way he can help you understand your fight is if he understands it too.