so it's my first time actually doing a blog post, so if i embarrass myself here i apologise T.T welp here goes nothing

Stories Written (and posted): 37
Breakdown by Fandom (Top Five Only): 

• GOT7: 30
• WINNER: 1
• IKON: 3
• Hi Suhyun: 1
• Mixed: 2

Longest Story Written: peripheral at 34,190 words.
Shortest Story Written (and posted): armed and dangerous at 355 words.

My favorite story of this year: Well I honestly have no clue- this would really depend on your definition of “favourite” here? T.T But if you’re talking about the fic I feel the most comfortable and happy reading, it’d probably be mortal enemies (or just uncomfortable next door neighbours), because exploring that universe was totally a guilty pleasure (I’m not a nerd iM NOT) and the markjae dynamic always makes me happy somehow? ;A; Plus I had an amazing remix for that fic! But if you’re talking about the fic I feel I had the most fun writing, then it’d probably be either the grandfather paradox or freefall, because damn I went crazy with all my favourite spy au tropes and clichés in freefall (and will continue to do so in the coming spy universe fics XD) and TGP was inspired by an amalgamation of all my favourite video game tropes, so I was having a lot of fun writing it too- the only drawback for TGP for me would be how scared I was about its potential reception XD

My best story this year: Uhm, well, I can’t exactly be the judge of this…? Again this would depend on your definition of “best” XDD If you mean what I thought I put the most technical effort into, then it would probably be call it true love, peripheral or healing/don’t hug me, I’m scared, because those three took a lot out of me T.T I actually had 16 pages on healing, then under the working title dreams you’ve killed, which was a lot darker and, as a friend I spoke to told me, out of character, so I put that one aside and started fresh.

However, if you’re talking sheer research effort, it would be the grandfather paradox or freefall. For TGP I was combing wiki sites desperately for some theoretical knowledge on time and quantum physics because im a dumb dumb and didn’t know much about them beforehand, and I eventually spent about a week getting a brief overview on the subject of time and space loopholes before I started writing? Same for the freefall series, except the research was directed at another spy fic that was initially intended to come out before it, but I eventually put that one out to graze and worked on freefall instead.

Best received story: Well uhm you’re talking uh, “public success”, then it would probably be (/huffs/ I actually went to look up statistics just for this) just the way you are on AO3 and 7fics, grounded on LJ, and the grandfather paradox on AFF, based on number of subscribers/comments/kudos T.T (damn, though, most of the results surprised me). Again, I don’t know if those are accurate indicators of receptivity, but hey, we make do with what we got, right? :P

I was honestly surprised by the number of comments TGP was beginning to receive on aff, because I was 100% prepared for a lukewarm response to the fic due to its unorthodox nature, but in the end it started averaging about seven comments per chapter (yes I went back to count), which is wayyyy more than say, peripheral, which exploited a popular corporate trope? But it was a nice feeling hehe, because idk, I felt like at that point, I wasn’t alone in this crazy nerdy obsession I had, that people out there were interested in storylines like this too? I was equally as surprised when this pixel love, or as many know it, the jackbam internet vlogger au, racked up so much interest on 7fics, but that was the springboard for my fanfic journey in the Got7 fandom, so I’m grateful ^.^  


Story most underappreciated by the universe, in my opinion: Uh, well… /rocks back and forth uncertainly/ uhm I was kind of, a little disappointed (though I wasn’t shocked or anything, because it’s not like I expect my to fics garner much attention anyway, what with their lack of technical skill and subject matter T.T) at the amount of attention call it true love received. Out of all my fics, it’s the one I probably put the most technical effort into writing, but then again, maybe that’s why people were put off when they were two sentences in XDD But!! I am extremely grateful for everyone who commented/subscribed, plus for the people who offered to translate it, seeing as the Thai translation has about 29++ comments (the original has 9) so I honestly don’t have that much to complain about XDD

Then again there’s also luminance, another one of my favourite fics in terms of readability and subject matter, which also to this day has about 6 comments on aff and none on ao3, but then again, with the people I write about, this shouldn’t come as much of a surprise either XD

Most fun story: Yay!!! I mentioned this earlier- some of my favourite fics to write, purely because of how fun they were, would probably be freefall, and also perhaps mortal enemies (or just uncomfortable next door neighbours)? freefall had so many ridiculous tropes for me to exploit, and I spent some afternoons rewatching clips of Mission Impossible and Red vs Blue (that Halo video series if anyone needs clarification about how nerdy I actually am), so that was great and fun. For the Markjae vampire fic (I should really rethink the length of my titles) I actually reread some books from the Spiderwick Chronicles series to gain inspiration for Mark’s character- I modelled him after the elves in the book hehe, and I loved that series when I was a kid, so again, it was fun to write and hopefully to read too? ;A;

Another fun story I liked writing is nature vs nurture, and as you can see I went pretty overboard with my character descriptions in there because of how much fun I was having XDD It eventually became incredibly hard to fit any sort of message in there to give the story purpose because I was literally just going nuts with scenarios and interactions, plus I edited out pairings so the story lost even more buoyance, so the story ended up a lot messier and feebler than it should’ve been T.T still, it was fun though? I also loved luminance because of the liberties I was able to take with all my favourite kpopstar babies, and it gave me the excuse to go back and rewatch a lot of old clips of seunghoon, akmu, hayi and jimin, so there’s that \o/

Hardest story to write: If you’re talking like, hard psychologically and progressively, that would probably be healing/don’t hug me, I’m scared, hands down. putting aside my general rush for exchange fics and fics that I deliberately procrastinated, it was the hardest for me to write healing because of how difficult it was for me to properly broach this subject of Yugyeom’s feelings regarding the rest of the members, against the background of the harsh idol environment and at the same time, linking it to exactly how Jaebum would react. It was literally just pages upon pages of nothing actually happening, just thoughts and conversation, and for a pairing like Jaegyeom, which I’d never properly explored in fic before, it took me some time to get used to? I was just afraid I wouldn’t be able to strike a balance between hitting a nerve and not touching anyone at all through that fic. Again, not one of my most successful fics XDD

"Holy crap, that's *wrong*, even for you" story: (I’m just going to own up and admit I’m not quite sure what this means) but uhm, if you’re talking about a fic where I overstepped boundaries and did cray cray things…well uhm, I’m not sure if any of my fics qualify? I fill prompts- my heart is first and foremost never my own. The most important thing I consider in fic is usually the so-called “message” that it conveys, so I usually steer way clear of issues I know other people would contradict me on, rather than tackling them XD (the issues btw, not the people- that would just be rude)

(but there was a fic I never published with some crazy things, man, idek where it is now.) 

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: Right, that would definitely be healing/don’t hug me, I’m scared. To be perfectly honest, I didn’t appreciate Jaebum properly up to that point- I saw him as the leader, the cool, proud one with a lot of talent to match up to his ego, but I never linked it to his personality back in his trainee days. Unlike Jinyoung, Jaebum changed so much over the course of the two years that JJP disappeared off the radar, and I felt like I was forced to properly explore that change in healing. Another fic, or rather a series of drabbles, that helped me get another perspective on the characters would probably be enigma, a series of Mark drabbles I only published on LJ, and before this goes over the edge. At that point, Mark was the only one of the Got7 members that eluded me even at the basic level- I never really got around to liking him because I could never figure him out. enigma sort of helped me sort out the ideas I had about him, and before this goes over the edge helped a lot too, except I was weak and added Jackson into the equation because Markson is <3

Biggest disappointment: In terms of the fic I had high hopes for but had an end product which disappointed me, uhm, that would probably be one of my exchange fics XD I had really lofty aspirations for inferiority complex, because I just wanted my first golden trio fic to actually be something, but I guess I dreamed too big XDD Another fic that disappointed me is something I never published, but was written for a prompt on 7fics, asking for a Markjae fic based on the song Reason by Hoobastank, I was careless with the universe I portrayed, and I felt like I overstepped some boundaries in there, so hopefully, I’ll fix it enough to be able to finally fill that prompt one day XD

Biggest surprise: Again!!! I had no idea the grandfather paradox would do well on AFF because of how unusual the storyline was- no catboys/arranged marriages/ slave contracts/corporate aus/high school stuff and -87% , and yet, it’s the fic with the most number of comments and second only to catharsis in terms of subscribers???? Inconceivable!! But in all seriousness, this was probably what made me happiest, because I hold a lot of the messages I put into the fic close to heart, and to see that other people felt the same way just made me ;A; I’m also surprised at how well just the way you are (markjae café fic ey \o/) was received ;A; again I’m glad many could relate to it- I put a really clichéd sort of message in and I’m happy that so many related to me on the emotions I tried to portray and the moral of the story ish? Sort of that there are lofty standards of beauty out there but we don’t always have to confine to them, and as long as we have courage and be kind we’ll be good, ey. Yes, I just referenced Cinderella. comE AT ME

Most unintentionally telling story: uhhh I’m not quite sure what this means, but I’m going to assume it means something that a lot of people found meaning in…? If “unintentionally” is going to be a crucial factor, then it would probably be grounded- I started out with just the desire for cute yohoe time, and when it escalated further, I honestly didn’t think it would be as “telling” as, say, still he stays, which is roughly on the same subject matter (perhaps people can’t handle the confounding, inconceivable notion of a platonic het pairing?) but still, I’m grateful people enjoyed it and appreciated the issue I tried to broach in the fic ^.^

iest story: Anyone who knows me would also know that this question doesn’t apply to me in the slightest XDD the closest I ever came to ytimes would probably be the last-ditch attempt at ust in you mustn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling, and all 355 words of armed and dangerous, but then again, considering the extended version of which I have in my folder which I probably wouldn’t have been able to release before 17^th November this year, perhaps that was unintentionally purposeful XD

Favorite summaries: 
(I’m terrible at these, so at least this list will be thankfully short)

“a hackneyed, but nonetheless rather enjoyable, tale of a forger and a point man” – you mustn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.

“the last thing that kunpimook, or bambam, as jackson calls him, anyway, needs in his life right now is someone just as clever, if not smarter, than him. but then again fear's a reassuringly double edged blade, and curiosity can kill you just as easily as it can make you fall in love.” - peripheral 

“at the age of six, yugyeom subsists. bambam thrives. naturally, a friendship is born.” – chaste

“yugyeom builds worlds in the labyrinths of his mind, and dies when they do.” – and call it true love

Favorite opening line(s): again, not quite good at these, so:

“There are times when Youngjae likes to convince himself he’s past the pubescent stage of forming superficial, hormonal crushes based mostly on looks, that he’s a mature, decisive nineteen-year-old capable of making logical, sensible decisions regarding his love interests.” – just the way you are

“There are times when Mark likes to believe he’s completely over the phase of perceived angsty, hormonal teenage romance, and that he’s a mature twenty-one year old completely capable of making logical, sensible decisions regarding his love interests.” – mortal enemies (or just uncomfortable next door neighbours)

Favorite closing line(s): 

“No one asks why Mark’s soles are black, or why they’re both wearing only one shoe, and Jaebum grumbles about his cold ddeokbokki, but Jinyoung pulls them both in and closes the door behind them, steering them both towards the bathroom and complaining about how cold their hands are, and out of the corner of Jackson’s eye, he sees Mark smile.” –before this goes over the edge

Favorite line(s) from anywhere:
“Two can play at this game, he thinks smugly. And maybe, if they manage their cards nice and proper, with just the right amount of fine complimentary champagne, both of them might happen to come out of it winners.” –peripheral

“Bambam’s gathered the sheets under his chin, half-burying himself in Youngjae’s blankets, and amidst thoughts like he’d better not get eyeliner on these sheets and I hope he washed his feet, dressed in white like that Youngjae can’t help but think he looks like an angel.” – when salted tears won’t dry

“Because for him, smiles are cynical, touch comes in friendly punches, and affectionate words feel like grenades between his jaws, threatening to explode within him and tear him open to reveal the massive entirety of what he feels for the younger boy, messy and raw and uncensored like it’s been ripped fresh from his heart.” – and call it true love

“Junhoe’d learned a year ago, amidst another death battle with another set of brothers in another stupid survival show, that being sorry did little for anyone. Junhoe’d learned that hard work counted for close to nothing without talent, and the same applied vice versa. The heart of the Goo Junhoe had been sandpapered down through the acidity of bitter fangirls’ words and the cold judgement of sunbaes to the bone, to the core, and the time for sympathy was long past.” – grounded

“Hayi had thought her music was a rebellion in the pop industry until she’d heard AKMU, heard the confidence behind soothing vintage blends of electronic and folk, and like the rest of the world she’d fallen in love with the sound of it under the guise of calm speculation.” – luminance

Story I haven't yet written, but intend to: the number of fics I’d have to list here is crazy T.T I do want to convert freefall into a spy au series, and sort of upload little drabbles and oneshots (and another long chaptered fic) complementary to that universe, so there’s that. I also have to finish up the grandfather paradox and I’m still contemplating how I’m going to go about finishing catharsis (yes, despite the one year drought, I haven’t given up on that fic yet T.T) There are also the numerous prompts I want to claim over at 7fics (though with the new casuals here I feel a lot less pressure to churn out fics, and I suppose this is detrimental in many ways T.T). I’m also really set on doing a jingyeom/yugbam model fic, though I have no idea how that will come to fruition :( Aside from Got7 fics, I’m also hoping to do a jinchan (B1A4) fic for TJ, and there’s a junhoe/yunhyung catboy fic that’s been sitting in my folder since forever- I already have the first part done, but I just can’t seem to get round to the rest of it ;A;

Goals for next year: Make use of the free time (aside from work) I’ll have to write more! I’m hoping to be able to finish TGP by Jan, and fill at least three prompts from now till February. Also /long suffering sigh/ if I continue talking to nini and shii, I’ll probably be writing BTS fic soon too /muttered grumbling/ like frick man vmin is so cute how idek what

Top Five Stories From 2014-15: eyyy so I’m just going to select from all the fics I’ve written under the alias hiphopbabylion, because ‘A’s really took a chunk from me this year and I wasn’t able to write enough to have a good selection of fics to choose from T.T In no particular order!!:

1. the grandfather paradox: I’ve been having so much fun and so much stress with this so it just culminates in this mess of adrenaline and energy, and I’m happy with the progress I’ve been able to make with it so far? I can’t say much since the fic still isn’t finished, and a lot of what I want to say involves the ending XDD but this fic was really satisfying for me in a fangirl sort of way, both as an ode to the multitude of amazing video games I’ve played/watched, and in terms of the messages I found myself incorporating into the fic.

2. peripheral: Again, another fic I loved, not because I was proud of the subject matter that it kickstarted on, but more of because this fic really helped me settle a lot? Okay, yay, great grandfather story coming along now, so feel free to skip this if you’re not looking forward to a lot of backstory XDD Long story short, I wasn’t (still am not) the richest kid in the world, but I went to a pretty fancy primary and secondary school because my mom did, and spent ten years wondering why I couldn’t afford the same things or go to the same places my friends did. Like I had a friend who gave me an Mp3, no strings attached, and that was probably the most horrible moment of my friendship with her because I couldn’t see her the same way after that- all my greedy little eleven-year-old mind wanted from her were things, and in retrospect that’s a pretty ty thing to realise, you know? We’re still friends now but there was a part of my life where I couldn’t see the value of just being friends with her, not her landed property or her free VIP tickets to Shakespeare plays or her endless makeup supply. Now, at least, it’s pretty disgusting when I think back about it, but hey, we’re kids, I guess that’s what’s school’s for, to let us be stupid and ashamed of it when we’re grown up.
   
   Bambam, Yugyeom and Youngjae each represented a phase in my self-proclaimed poverty- fascination, resignation and greed respectively. So far, the greed’s the only part of it I’ve tried to kill \o/

3. mortal enemies (or just uncomfortable next door neighbours): Yep so again, this fic still kinda makes me smile when I reread it (which is usually the ultimate goal I have in mind for people who read my fics?) and I’ve heard in comments that people find it light and fun to read, which is something really important to me because, well, I’m kind of imagining people coming home from a long crappy day at work or school and needing a pick me up, and coming back to this fic for a couple of cute moments and laughs? I mean if that’s what my fics are able to do, then I’m like settled, man, I’m happy that I’m able to make other people happy ^.^ Out of all my fics, I still feel like this one has the easiest readability, and I managed to go an entire fic without a drop of angst or heavy messages, so yay! I’m just happy this fic manages to brighten anyone’s day ^.^

4. colour crimson in my eyes: Not a fic I nominated because of cuteness or readability, obviously, ahah, but because I felt this one was important for me? Maybe it’s because I grew up in a sheltered environment, but only about five or six of the people I knew were ever seriously afflicted by eating disorders- but it was still enough to unsettle me? Call me a wuss, but seeing them like that was enough to keep me up all night for weeks worrying…? T.T Especially since I used to be really close to one of them, and for a couple of weeks I kept wondering if it’d been my fault, if I’d been able to do anything? Writing this fic made me feel like I had a little psychological victory over everything that’d happened- I guess it was just me getting my feelings and thoughts in order and finding catharsis.

5. last but not least!!! luminance, because of all the satisfaction criteria it managed to fulfil for me- the message, the readability, the liberties I could take incorporating all my favourite members, and again, people in the comments tell me it managed to brighten their day, so I’m happy ^.^ I mean, if my fic can make a person on their way home from a ty day at work happy, so when they get home they make their family and friends happy and the happiness (ideally) spreads from there, that’s honestly more than I can ask for XDD

So this was a long and boring review, more for me to take some time out to properly look back at this year than anything ahaha, so if you’re still here, thank you for reading so far, and I hope I didn’t bore you too much >.< Have a great Christmas and New Year guys!