I'm sorry. I don't mean to bother you guys but today is my great grandmother's birthday. Its almost year since passed and it will be in January of next year. I wrote this poem to her. You don't have to read it. I just wanted to vent out my frustrations with handling her death. Sorry once again.

Well I am up on a Tuesday morning. Today is your birthday so I can't seem to get you out of my mind.

It's a weird feeling, not having your warm presence in my life. I know that I should be content with the fact that you're no longer suffering but right now god knows that I'm feeling selfish.

I want you- need you back in to my life although you've already passed- gone on to the place of this world and the next. Yet still I miss you guiding my light, teaching my heart.

I don't want to cry but silently the tears are flowing down. I have to eventually let go- move on but its so hard and I don't know what to do.

What has it been like, almost a year without your presence? You left me- us in January but you turned out to be a December baby. Isn't funny, unique in its entirety.

Soon the anniversary of your death will be fast upon us in the following new year. I know that you know the pain of losing you is still there- still fresh inside of our hearts.

This Christmas the family had dinner at your house but I couldn't go. I was scared, I was miserable. I felt so alone, so dark and clouded with rain- rain pouring down against my barren soul.

So that's why I pray to the lord above that I will be able to let you go- let you finally rest in peace as I try to find my own place in this without you by my side.