am i being 'easily offended'?

this is non-aff related.

 
whenever someone says a homophobic statement- im always the one who calls the person out on it and schools them. but then the person would always say im "easily offended" "getting butthurt over nothing" or "not understanding, IT'S A JOKE" 
 
am i being offended over nothing???
 
a lot of people claim that im just getting offended by everything and it's just a joke- but people need to understand if it's considered homophobic it's pretty ING offensive. this isn't only about homophobic statements btw- whenever i say something about racist, ableist, ist etc comments the person always says it's a joke and im just "easily offended".
 
but i need another perspective on this :/ am i being easily offended by it? some people i know usually just tsk and shake their head over it if someone says something offensive- but i feel like NOT saying anything and NOT doing anything about it doesn't result in people understanding what they're saying is offensive :/ and stopping what they're doing.
 
i just feel that if im against racism and such- it's not a problem? why do other people make it sound like it is :/ im not getting 'easily offended over a joke' if it's actually just pretty much an offensive statement.
 
but the thing is- everything i claim is offensive: i take personal offence to. if someone says a racist statement about asian people, i feel offended. yet- if i tell someone not to say the n-word because it offends black people, am i really in the position to say that if it doesn't offend me? :/ considering im not black myself?
 
im only rethinking this because some people i know don't want to hang around me, say jokes near me and label me as "part of the feminist group" due to me calling them out on their offensive behaviour.
 
any other comments/povs are welcome.
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CaptSunRiser #1
No. Not at all. I hate the C-word used about East Asian people, and I'm not East Asian. I hate the N-word, but I'm not black. I hate the P-word, and I'm not South Asian. I'm a white guy. I hate ist statements, homophobic statements, ableist statements, and all of the things you hate. That being said, I can laugh at a joke with a racist, ist, homophobic punchline. I can tell them too, BUT I can only laugh at them if it's easy to tell that they are jokes. Any ambiguity and I don't like them. That's the deal. I could, and often do, tell the joke "Do you know how many jokes there are about men? Three, because the rest are all true stories." Replace "men" with "dumb blondes", "nerds", or whatever, and I'd still tell it and I'd still find it funny. But I'm a white, blonde, nerdy guy. The key is "Does the punchline work?" It's about context. Even jokes where you use stereotypical voices can be funny, as long as the context is right. You need to set it up to say "Listen, this is a joke, ok?" I find, once I get there, even offensive things can get a laugh.

But you're not being overly sensitive about such issues. They exist and you will no doubt be offended by these comments. The "you're so easily offended" comment translates to "Why won't you let me insult anyone I want to?" The problem isn't you, it's them. Believe me, it's them. I would suggest, if these people continue to make such comments and then blame you for not laughing with them, push them far from your life.
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