November 15, 2015

Hi. Before anything else, I would like to apologize to the people who have read this. Yes, I am putting this on hold. I have no excuse prepared. To be completely honest, I'm gonna start working as a customer service representative (a.k.a. call center agent). I know it's not a great as an excuse, but it's one of the reasons why.

The main reason is because writing this story kept on hurting me. (Spoiler alert!) Basically, Jessica is a rebound here, and though I never became a rebound, I could come close (I think, lol). I can't continue writing something that has hints about my past. It would be shady of me to try something like that. And also, I feel like I'm so lost... Like I don't know where to go. I need to pick up the pieces I dropped before I start over.

I've been thinking about this a lot these past few days, and I guess I hate to say this, but I'll stop writing for a while. I don't even know if I would stop writing. It became a habit to just turn the laptop on at 3 am, writing something down and proof-reading. I haven't had chapters prepared, though, because whenever I write, if I finish a chapter, I immediately post it here on WP, then copy it to AFF. I have to find myself because if I keep on losing who I am, then I wouldn't recognize the person writing this. This particular post, this story, the other stories.

On a lighter note, I'll try my hardest to write when I can. When I'm satisfied. When I am not as depressed as I am now. I really hope I could get back to this as soon as possible. I want to finish this, so I could start working on the other stories I had in mind.

Another thing I wanted to share. When I was interviewed, I talked about this particular story to the HR. And he asked me why is it unfortunate to be a rebound, and I should use a particular chapter in my page. I told him, that the uncertainty is the most unfortunate part. That when you are so in love with him, and he tells you he's in love with you, too, you'll never be sure if he meant what he said, or he only said it because he felt lonely. And that's how I truly see everything that's related to this story.

No, I'm not unfortunate. He never made me a rebound, but he kept talking about his "crush". Anyway, I don't think you're interested in that part. So I'll just end it by saying "I'll be back."