I have lived in the fantasy of L___ not ending..a forever...

I have lived for 18 years not understanding what it really is..

And now as i slowly understand it fully...it became my greatest fear..

My greatest fear that i don't know how to conquer...

Some says i should have strong faith...maybe my faith is really being tested here..

on why this ideas comes to my head...

I just can't imagine L____ ending...

I think i really need to open up again and make my faith stronger..this is making me stressed and super depressed...

i don't know the reason or the trigger of making me think about this...T_T