Should I Give Up?

All she want is to make her parents proud. She tried REAL hard to study and she even makes many reviewers and notes. They might not see it but the truth is she really did give her best in everything she does. Well, what can she do? They just see the girl that slacks off and just do internet surfing and stuff. They never see the girl that tried her best just to make others see that she can do it, the girl who just wants to make her parents proud of her again, the girl whom everyone thought is strong and easy-going, the girl whom they thought that she's always happy and doesn't have problems.

She who helps others solve their problems and make them happy and yet not one person that she considers her friend and family notices the pain in her eyes, the fake smiles and that masks she wears whenever she goes out. She can only put up a smile for everyone so that they don't worry about her. She always put others first before her happiness. But in truth, she just want th people around her to notice her sadness, the pain that she is going through and her longing for comfort. That maybe someday or sometime one person says to her that everything will be okay and that she doesn't need to worry anymore. She doesn't want to be misunderstood again for her actions. She's so tired of hearing those degrading and insulting words thrown at her.

She's tired of crying every night and being disappointed at herself.She just want the pain to go away. She just want everything to go back to the things they were. People makes mistakes and I'm one of them. Why can't they see that I'm doing my best? Perhaps they think that I'm not so serious about it and they think I'm just slacking off. It hurts you know, the people I expect to cheer me on turns out to be the people who brings me down.

Sometimes I just want to give up. I'm thinking that if I would just leave they would be much happier 'coz you know there is always my sister who makes more achievements than mine and studies way better than me and is sweet to them and always makes them proud while me all I do is disappinted them. What can the get from a useless and pathetic daughter like me? They wouldn't be bothered much If I disappeared would they? Because I always make them angry and upset, would they care for me?I admit I'm not that much showy of my feeling towards others but that doesn't mean that I don't love them.

My sisters way better than me so it wouldn't be much of a loss If I disappeared, they still have another daughter that would always make them proud not like me that would just ruin everything. :(

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jellyace02 #1
We totally have the same situation, especially the 2nd paragraph. It hit me the most. Well, maybe our thinking is not the same. I always try my best to study and study and study. But my parents never appreciated me because of my sister. Because my sister is more intelligent than I am. She's a valedictorian, I am not. She gets the first honors now that we're in college and even have a scholarship, I don't. but I am just looking at the brighter and positive side. Like... my sister's a valedictorian among less than 300 students, well I am an achiever with more than 500 students. She gets the first honors in college cause her course is accountancy, purely academic and logic. While I get second honors, but my course is Architecture and it's way more tiring than hers. not that I'm comparing but just to simply let you see that everything happens for a reason.

And look! I have my own strengths and weaknesses! even though they don't see it, but eventually they would see it when I became successful. Don't let others make who you are.. you make yourself, okay? You can do anything if you want, with the lessons you are learning. Just work hard for it and be positive, there's always a next, there are millions of chances, millions of opportunities that you can grab to show them what you got, alright? HWAITING!!
elisajane81 #2
I feel like I'm reading my diary in this post of yours. I totally feel you. I don't even get more than 3 hours of sleep every night just to study my off, but I always end up being told lazy and useless. My older and younger sister are both getting slaying grades, and I'm nowhere near their achievements. But know what? I'm not gonna give up. I'm not gonna let their disdaining words get to me, because it will only affect me negative me. Their words never fail to hurt my heart a lot every single time. But I simply brush it off. I keep telling myself, "they judge me because they don't know me and what I can do." I promise to myself I'm gonna prove them all wrong. I'm gonna work really hard not to make them say sorry, but to make myself became something they are not expecting me to be. I'm gonna be successful, so much that the only thing they can do is think of the negative things they've done towards me. And regret until they realize that the daughter they used to disdain is actually the one who will achieve the best in life.

Just like me, don't give up. Okay? We're gonna prove them all wrong. We're gonna take over the world with our success. We can do it. We're ninjas. (:
sleepingprince #3
No dont think that way. Every child is just as precious to their parent . Maybe you should try talk and explain to your parent about how you feel. I also think that you shouldnt compare yourself with your sister. You both are just as amazing but everyone is different in their own way. I hope that you would not think badly about yourself.
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