I'm not really a big fan of posting rant blog posts about my personal life like this, but... I don't know. I just really feel helpless right now. No one may even read this, but maybe writing it out all will help me think straight.

Come January I might have to move out on my own. My mom is planning on moving away with my brother back to where we used to live. It isn't concrete, but the more she thinks about it, the more she's leaning toward doing it. I, however, refuse to go back there. She doesn't seem to remember what it was like living there as well as I do. It really wasn't the best of circumstances, and I feel like she's just going to be putting herself through the same situation. I don't get it.

I know it may be selfish of me to not want to go with her. I love my mother, I really do. She's my best friend and it's literally killing me thinking about having to live away from her so soon like this. I'll only be 19 by the time this happens, and I just don't know what to do. I'll have school again in January and work, and I have no idea how I'm supposed to take care of myself or where I'll even live...

I'm really scared right now.

And, another thing that is, I guess, less important but still hurts is the fact that not even a week ago, my mom and I decided on when would be a good time for me to go to Korea. But, now, that doesn't seem like a possibility anymore. It's just amazing how you can go from being so sure of something one day, and not even 24 hours later, it seems like it'll never be an option.

I seriously don't know what to do anymore T~T