I have been through so much in one day, I just felt the need to say something…just to get it all out. Is that alright with you guys?

I, unfortunately, got into a small…dispute? (Yes, that’s right) with my older sister earlier this afternoon. My sister is a very out-going, speaks-her-mind, loud’n’proud kind of person. She has a whole wide variety of friends that surround her like some queen every single waking minuet of her life. She is loved, adored, and cherished by so many admirers it’s not even a laughing matter (Yet, she fails to realize it. And that’s the sad part.) She is so freaking loved, guys and girls chase after her . No, guys, seriously. She broke up with her boyfriend of three months just last weekend, and people are already chasing after her -not that it stopped them before, they’re just more persistent is all- She told me a girl from our band class tried to kiss her that same day…WTF!

I actually have no problem with at all, even though once they all give up playing my sisters game of ‘cat and mouse’, they come towards me wanting to play a different game called ‘little red riding hood and the big bad wolf’ unto which I scream on the inside and sport for my favorite game of all; ‘run & hide’. But, even then, being seen as the skinner, more quite version of her, being her shadow…I still don’t complain. As long as she is smiling everyday…I’m fine. I really am. (I only repeated that because that last sentence sounded a bit depressing. FYI I am okay with that. I don’t like the attention anyways…feels like I’m being stared down and devoured by their eyes. *shivers all down spine* Nope. No thank you.)

But…

…what does annoy me…

…so much to the point where I am in tears…

…are the ‘boyfriends’.

(Okay, so they’re not really dating. But, look at the two holding hands, exchanging sweatshirts, and text messages and tell they aren’t dating. I ing dare you…)

Every single guy she dates is a total …to ME!!  I swear you have no idea how much I want to castrate these jerks and feed their balls to blood thirsty hounds –they deserve that much (note: guys I don’t curse…AT ALL. I am NOT the pottymouth I am portraying myself to be right now, it is the only way I may vent out all the frustrations built up from the day. I am truly sorry for the dirty words I have been spilling. I did not even think about how uncomfortable I may have made some of you feel. You probably wince at every word…I am sincerely sorry~~~~) in my opinion.

I do not necessarily know if it is my presence that sets them off (since I’m a er and all, hehe) or just me entirely. It perplexes me to no point, because I really do not know. In the end, the guys always bark at me to ‘ off!’ Which is what happened today… I have very curious, owl-like eyes. Like, no joke. My bad teacher once even asked me if I was sick or something because I kept looking at him while were performing in the stands, everyone around me laughed causing me to lower my head as I answered a barely audible ‘no’ before he walked away again, my eyes immediately leaving his trail. Ducking my head lower while it burned a rose red. The boy right next to me tried cheering me up by suggesting that I should have replied back something like ‘I just couldn’t take my eyes off of your beautiful face’ or whatever. UGH! So embarrassing!

But, he basically said ‘the are you looking at’ my sister stopped her flirting for a second…just to laugh! To I N G LAUGH! Going back to the title of this blog, I am an oversensitive person, if I may admit. I just did the usual, walking away and giving my sister the usual ‘I’ll be over there when you’re done ing around’ look, which she usually doesn’t catch onto. I watched from afar until following 20 paces behind the ‘couple’ (talk about third-wheeling). I DO NOT like when people yell or cuss at me. I absolutely, utterly DETEST IT! ....same goes for crying. When he had finally left (we were only school grounds, and had to ride a bike home) she had the nerve to tell me the same old crap she does every time ‘Taylor, he said he was sorry. Plus, he was only joking’

WHO THE CARES!!!!

She knows darn well how I am! She’s my sister, she knows me like the back of my hand! But...she chooses to ignore it, regardless of my feelings. We ended up braking at each other in front of our band friends, about how much I ‘Overreact’ and ‘irrational’ I AM! And how 'unreasonable and clueless' she is!  I had to take a breather in the corner after that, my friends calmed me down. Since my dad had school and couldn’t pick me up until later, I had to dread with my sister while the failing kids in band had study hall. I opted to stay far away from her as possible, sitting behind my crush (more like adjacent) with the friends that cheered me up, doing gods knows what for the next two hours.

In all honesty, the longest I have ever held a grudge was about hmm…two, maybe three days, but tonight as I write about this, siting less than an arm length away her at this very moment, I still feel as though we are never going to talk again...and I hate it, despite my friends reassuring words from earlier saying we were going to be best friends again tomorrow, I highly doubt it. I actually really hate ‘brawling’ with my older siblings…especially her. Just yesterday, were we laughing our asses of at her stupid vine covers (which are funny as hell) and now we only bark empty threats at each other. My dad can even feel the tension, as he rests on th- excuse me, his recliner across from me.

 I would just talk to her, if I could. My sister is too afraid to go into deep conversations with me like I can with my dad (I am a daddy’s girl, which results in our very close relationship) she will just play dumb, and laugh her way out. Therefore, you have to be stern in order for her to listen to you, or she will never get the point. I try my best to understand her, but, she known for her games as said before. I have been with her my whole life -14 years and counting- am I am still on level One: Understanding.

But, do you guys think I overreacted? I truly understand if you agree…I just want to know…

P.S. – Yes, I am 14. A freshmen. My sister is 15. A sophomore. It’s okay to think I am the more mature one –I am not gloating- I just get it a lot. Her TEACHERS. Her FRIENDS. And even our own GRANDMOTHER and DAD and HIS GIRLFRIEND believe I am. But…after reading this, do I sound immature…?