okay, so the title says everything.

there has been a guy whom i met about 5 years ago when i changed to my new school. i was about 8 years old by then.

we became good friends quickly but we didn't get above that friendship status. i didn't want to because to be honest in my traditional culture, having a relationship so young is quite forbitted. even now, the 14 year old me still cannot have a boyfriend af

anyway, when i got to 6th grade in 2013, my another friend told me that my old friend liked me. of course i didn't believe it. but it became really awkward for the both of us.

the thing is, we have always been in the same class until know, and he basically told everyone throughout the years that he liked me. every single day when i get to school, all of my friends tease me and i have been enduring this for the past 3 years of my life. at some point, my friends even started to make shipping names of him and me. even my seatmates does that. i am becoming really annoyed of that these days.

and that guy keeps staring at me and smiling creepily (or is it just me) at me. i didn't notice because he sits a lot far behind me in class, but i keep getting that insecure and weird feeling.

to be really honest, i even cussed at him and showed my middle finger to him (which i shouldnt) because i became really annoyed.

i don't hate him that much, but i just hope that he actually transfers to another class which obviously won't happen.

and part two of my rant i hope you guys can bear it

i mentioned before about my seatmates. one of my seatmates is also a kpop fan (which is basically the reason why we became friends). but the thing is she knows who my crush (from another grade) is. and whenever my crush appears she keeps giggling to herself and says "oh you are really happy today" which is directed to me. (then she would get a stare from my crush which is so hilarious but anyway) i have a feeling that my crush will soon know that i like him which i dont want at all.

and sometimes, i just cant get along with her personalities. the thing which really pisses me off sometimes, is that ... this is quite childish actually

i love infinite. i love sunggyu.

she too likes infinite. but she always keeps saying crap about sunggyu.

"oh he is such a selfish brat who is not like a leader at all"

"he gets so jealous of myungsoo"

"his eyes are so small"

i dunno why but it actually angers me. sometimes i just wanna cut her head off. (but i wont because her boyfriend might actually come and kill me lol just kidding. she is my close friend)

and she also keeps teasing me with the guy who likes me.

it is just too much.

i cant handle it anymore.

maybe some of you guys might think that this blog is just another childish rant.

but i just dont know how to deal with them anymore

should i go on hello counselor?