Hi Dad!

it's been a month, 

I went to visit you yesterday with mom, we even borought flowers.. Mom's idea, not mine, I know you don't like flowers.. But mom said it was pretty... it was tho.. Did you see it? I wore a new blouse too, did you see that too?

How are you?

We are fine over here, it's not all that great, but we'll get trough.. please cheer for us from there..

I miss you Dad..

Alv, my little nephew, he can crawl now.. and his brother can ride 2 wheels bike already, can you see them from there? They miss you too..

Mom keep asking me about a boyfriend, and Dee told me to stop pushing people away... I guess he sensed it.. I wish I can tell him that I'm not pushing people away, I save them from disappointment.. Can you tell him that?

There are so many things I want to say to you Dad, but mostly I want to say I'm sorry..

I'm sorry that I didn't tell you I love you enough.. I thought you will still be with me for a long time, see me get married and be the daughter you can be proud of.. I love you Dad, I wish you know that..

I'm sorry that I've been hiding so many things from you... I want to protect our memories.. I want you to remember me as that happy little girl, and I don't want you to feel that you had failed protecting me, it's not your fault, nor it's mine..

I'm sorry that I didn't say goodbye, because until the last minute, I was still hoping that you could come home with me... I regret that... But you know that I was there, right?

I miss you dad...

Who should I tell when I have nightmares now?

I miss you..

Who will accompany me when I woke up in the middle of the night now?

why can't you live forever?

I miss you dad..

I love you..

Take care