Well, as you know, I had been suffering from a bad writer's block and hence decided to take a short hiatus from AFF. But, I could have come back earlier if two incidents hadn't happened. And these two instances made me really sad, sad more than even angry. And these made me look at my new bias group Ikon, and a liked former trainee Hongseok in a completely different light. Now, I don't feel the happy, enthused way I used to look at them any longer.

But, also, after much thought, I believe I ought to write my fic on them out before my 'dislike' colours the story, or indeed I am forced to abandon the story entirely.

One, Hongseok - I am angry, and kind of feel like a fool for liking his persona in Mix n Match. I liked his sassiness, his distinct self-identity, and most truly his sweet voice. I, even then, noticed Hanbin's and Hayi's complaints about him. But, I believed his trainee-faults would get corrected with more time within the system. As a whole, I liked him. (Though my choice among the 3 new ones was Jinhyeong, and he still remains my favourite, and I want to see and hear from him again.) And, when news of him joining Cube came out, I was very happy for him. And then, right the next day came out the news about his lovestagram...OMG...I don't care about his love life, its his personal business. But, the other stuff?! He fatshames, so tick the misogynist box. Then he swears very crudely about legendary singers, people who as an aspiring singer he should be looking up to with respect. And finally, giving fan-gifts to the girlfriend and then lying about it! Like wow, way to show no gratitude to your loyal fans who probably saved up their pocket-money (maybe did extra jobs) to buy you gifts. And then you just blithely hand them over to somebody else?! And then you blatantly lie to your fans rather than grovelling for their forgiveness! Way shameless, to betray your own fanbase like this!

Two, Hanbin-Chanwoo 'bullying' on V App - Now, I don't know if I can call this bullying, because I have a mixed friends group since my diaper-wearing days, and we do have a pretty physical way of joking around. But, yes, the group interactions shown within that specific video was, for lack of a better word, w.h.a.c.k!!! Hanbin's hit looked like it hurt, and why the hell were there 3 of them? And Chanwoo doesn't retaliate even once - not like Changmin and Jaejoong's 'Soulfighter couple' antics. So already it seems like Chanwoo doesn't see himself comfortable enough to strike back at the leader. Next, the entire plan about making the Maknae speak informally to a senior! How does this not potentially taint Chanwoo's image?! If Chanwoo had done so, then all the hullabaloo would have been about how he's a "YG style thug". And, when Hanbin even said, on live boadcast, that Chanwoo does talk like that normally, it already makes the maknae seem a duplicitious/two-faced person who only pretends his innocent/obedient image. Does this not anyway reflect badly on Chanwoo? Why did somebody not shut the stupid plan down and there?! (I am looking at you Jinhwan and Yunhyeong.) And, Hanbin...I don't know what to say...you're the leader, you can't act petulantly if you don't get your way! And I am very disappointed  with Bobby for applauding and rewarding Hanbin's behaviour. (I used to think he would support the new member, if not anyone else, from my idea of him as the caring, easygoing hyung in Mix n Match.) And also disappointed with Jinhwan and the rest for not stopping BI and correcting his stance or just plain distracting from this stupid plan in some way. This video seemed to be almost showing as if the TeamB internal power structure is very lopsided and the rest other than DoubleB dare not go against their decisions in any way, even when what they were doing was wrong and probable or even likely to harm Ikon! The entire thing - yes, I saw the entire vid, not only the gifs - just made me uncomfortable and disappointed in the boys.

Personally, I think BI suffers too much from stress, taking on the responsibility for Ikon's success on his shoulders alone. And this was maybe a case of him lashing out, or his immaturity showing. [Yes, I think of him as still a kid, he is just a recent adult, and not even 21 yet and I feel like I can't yet judge him that harshly right now.] He needs an outlet to loose his aggression (maybe some sports class like tennis or something soothing yet physical like pottery), and maybe some counselling to control his temper. If GOT7's JB can get a leash on his anger then so can Hanbin. But, yes, some measure is needed, before he harms himself or others further by doing something stupider in the future.

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Edit attach: Yeah, JB himself and the boys have talked about his anger problems but now look at the group interactions - the boys easily and he takes it with a smile, and when there's play-fighting (eg. Jackson and JB) you can see how much its mutual joking. And JB really coddles the younger ones, and you can see how much they adore him in how they cling to him as much as possible even in casual settings.

Hanbin thinks himself pushed to be the 2nd GD, alone responsible to make IKON successful, but he doesn't need to. He has to trust his teammates, delegate duties and lessen the load on his shoulders and open up to them rather than lash out or throw tantrums (I remember Bobby coaxing him out of an episode, telling him he cannot behave so as the leader!). All he needs to be is the first BI, and be confident in his ability, not compete with legendary others.

I would forgive him this incident, and I have a lot of sympathy for him - but, I don't know if I will again if there's any such other incidents when BI's grown older a bit. The entire video, everybody seemed uncomfortable and on edge. It was not good to watch - BI as leader should have the twin parently ability to scold and cuddle in the same person. I like him lots, and hence I expect much from him. If anything, if he has to compete with icons of the game, he should look to people like Yunho and Eric, two people who dragged their team through hellfire tough schedules with care (DBSK in Japan) and fought for the team remaining together through outside troubles (contract shenanigans) and GD too, very much so, who despite early problems (elbow incident, him obviously liking Hyunseung more) managed to turn into someone who publicly praises and coddles s esp. Seungri the youngest and last entry.

Also, Chanwoo is even younger, and the last chosen. He already has quite a few anti-fans in OT6ers, and Jinseok preferring new fans. BI should be protecting him first and foremost.

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P.S.: I hate seeing these young idols (most my age or even younger) on TV shows thirst for meat like this. Like really, knowing that someone my age who I like, who is probably on a severe diet and missed the one chance they had probably for months to taste some meat, makes it hard for me to eat my Mom-cooked yummy dishes. They end tasting of ashes inmy mouth. Like, I seriously want this creepy 'food as prize' thing to stop. How about making the prize something else - like an ipod, or new speakers, or headphones or shoes, watch, just something else? Please!